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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Really annoyed with my daughter's plan to have alcohol at her wedding :( causing a fight

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 971 Replies
1 mom liked this
My daughter is marrying her long time boyfriend next March. She's in the middle of lots of planning right now. Last week, she told us that they're having the reception at a vineyard. It will be open bar, with bottles of wine on the table and free drinks of all kinds, and their souvenir gifts for guests will be a bottle of wine from the vineyard.

My husband, her dad, is a recovering alcohol who has had trouble maintaining sobriety, who has been in and out of rehab before and who struggles every day to stay sober for his family. She knows this, she grew up with this. They've had fights about it for years and were rocky, but I thought they were fine now. When she was telling us the plan for what shed booked, my dh didn't say anything, but looked uncomfortable.

Later on, I brought it up to her without my hubs being there. She said she liked the atmosphere of it, and that there was no question she wasn't going to have alcohol there because "one person is a drunk who can't control himself". I got upset when she said that and she said "if he's all better now, he should be fine around drinking for one night".

It's been strained the last week. She hasn't called me as much as she usually does, and she hasn't mentioned her wedding planning at all. I brought it up again on the phone and she said "mom, I'm not changing the venue, please don't talk to me about this again".

Do any of you mamas have any advice? My husband has been sober for 8 months again, and we try to avoid alcohol centred events and places with lots of alcohol at all costs- he doesn't feel comfortable with this at all. Help, anyone?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:09 AM
118 moms liked this
I think you need to back off. This isn't your wedding.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:09 AM
6 moms liked this

 I think she should be mindful of her father's situation, but then again, this is her wedding so....

hautemama83
by Emerald Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:09 AM
26 moms liked this
I have no advice, because I agree with her.
TurtleMomma82
by Barbie on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:10 AM
2 moms liked this

Well....it is her wedding.....sorry mama:/

sweetpeasgirl12
by Bronze Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:10 AM
50 moms liked this
Tell her sorry we can't go, his sobriety is way to important to risk it.
bluebunnybabe
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:10 AM
70 moms liked this
Sorry. Your husband should stay home. I think by her response that maybe his drinking has given her a lot of grief over the years.
KendallsMommee
by Spoiled SAHM on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:10 AM
79 moms liked this
She shouldn't have to arrange her wedding around his demons.

If he's that weak, I suggest he stays home.
dawnnamarie
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:11 AM
2 moms liked this
It's her wedding. Sorry.
Texor
by Platinum Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:11 AM
68 moms liked this

I agree with your daughter.  Growing up with an alcoholic they craft their entire life around THAT.  This is her wedding and if her dad can't control himself, then he should not be there.  Don't steal the wedding she wants from her...tell your husband to call his sponsor.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:11 AM
33 moms liked this
I think she's right sorry. She shouldn't have to completely change her entire vision of her wedding because of an alcoholic. There's alcohol and triggers everywhere she has every right to do her wedding the way she wants and her dad will just have to learn how to use a coping mexhanism and have surrounding help from you to keep him from having a drink
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