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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Scared for My Daughter and Grandchild (Long-I know I will be judged)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies

I know I'll be judged but maybe I'll get some good advice out of this post.


My daughter, who just finished her sophomore year, is close to 7 months pregnant. She is due in September. Of my 2 children, she is not the one I would have expected this to happen to. Straight A student, involved in drama club, very into health and fitness, volunteering within the church and community. She has come a long way in the past 2 and a half years, losing 60 lbs and battling through anorexia, bulimia, and self injury, as well as dealing with the aftermath of being molested. 

She was just beginning to stablilize mentally when she met the father of her child. At first he was every mother's dream. Kind, respectful, straight A athlete. A high school senior Very into music with an ultimate dream of going to college for film production. They were together for 7 months when she got pregnant.

Before anyone brings this up, my daughter was on birth control. Apparently, she is in the small percentage of those who the depo shot fails. She was also using condoms, but did not think anything of it when one broke due to the birth control.

When she and BF found out she was pregnant, he wanted her to have an abortion. My daughter, knowing that she would spiral down the wrong path if she killed her child (she is pro choice, but told me she could not stomach the thought of killing her own baby) held firm and said no. Releculantly, he gave up his scholarship to his dream school and began working 40-50 weeks at a local fast food place, while still finishing school. Then, one day in April, he up and left. Claimed the baby wasn't is, called her a whore and a slut, made nasty posts and tweets and pages about her. 

My daughter was broken. She tried to keep it together but I could tell she wasn't okay. Finally, a week ago, she broke down and told me everything. Apparently, he began abusing her early into her pregnancy. First verbally, accusing her of sleeping around, telling her she ruined his life so he would ruin hers. Then physically. When she was around 3 and a half months pregnant, he pushed her down the stairs and hit her so hard he left bruises. Thankfully, baby was alright. I feel guilty, I asked her where the bruise on her arm was from and she told me she ran into something. I didn't think anything of it because it was one bruise. Apparently she had bruises all over her ribcage as well. The thing that killed me the most, was when she looked me in the eyes and cried.."mommy, he forced me to have sex every day. and when I refused he started having sex with other girls." When I asked her why she would stay with someone like that, her response was heartbreaking. "I wanted my baby to have the family I never had."
 

My daughter, because she is 15, struggled to find a job. She did everything she could, picking up babysitting jobs 3-4 nights a week. She has so far boughten a crib, changing table, crib matress, bassinet, bouncy seat, and some clothes and bottles. She has also saved close to 500 dollars in the bank. I know it's not a lot, but she is trying. She wants to keep her baby, she is adamant about that, and I support her 100%.  She is trying very hard, taking 4 summer classes as well as getting the work to get ahead in her junior year. At this rate, she will graduate high school a year early with over 20 college credits (through AP/community college credits). She has been filling out job applications daily and making money any way she can. She is going to be a good mother. But I am worried about her. 

She barely eats. Prepregnancy, she was 142 lbs at 5 foot 7 inches tall, very muscular and athletic (ran 5 miles a day). Now, at 26 weeks, she is 140 lbs. I know thats only 2 lbs, but she looks a lot thinner. Her collarbone juts out, and you can see her ribs. I know she is extremely stressed and it decreases her appetite, but she told me she still feels fat if she eats no matter what. I think a lot of it is the online harassment from the ex and his friends. I have gone to the police, but the most they could do was give a warning because the tweets and posts were indirect. She has deleted all of her social media but she still hears of the things they are saying and it hurts her. 

I'm at a loss. If anyone has any advice, comments, or suggestions please let me know. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow I am so sorry your DD is going through this! !! You and all your family need to really close ranks around her and show her she is protected and loved. Due to her past struggles take extra care. Hugs and good luck.
shadowcat76
by Platinum Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:37 PM
3 moms liked this
This broke my heart. She is obviously suffering from some severe self-esteem issues. The only thing I can suggest is getting her in to see a therapist ASAP. Good luck to both of you. Hugs!
Gianna2014
by Gold Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:38 PM

Have either one of you thought of putting the baby up for adoption? 15 is much too young to be a mother. It would give her a second chance.

almondpigeon
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:40 PM
I am so sorry. The good news is that the abusive ass is out of her life. And she has you :) as a pp suggested, I would seek therapy. She has a long road ahead of her, but it's entirely possible for she and the baby to have wonderful lives.
kdjdod081013
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:41 PM
Oh my mama. This is horrible, and heartbreaking. I have no ideas, but what he is doing to her is so cruel :-( I'm glad she has your love and support.
bluebunnybabe
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:42 PM
I wish I had any advice for you & her. I'm glad you're there for her though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:43 PM

I don't buy that the birth contol failed, and how can he work 40-50 hours a week while still in high school?

ajdahd13
by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:43 PM
Poor girl, she doesn't deserve that. Just be there for her, make sure she knows she can come to you. And I would gently remind her that she needs to eat for her baby.

Good luck to you both.
ajdahd13
by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I did it. Really wasn't that hard if you have supportive friends and family,

Quoting Gianna2014:

Have either one of you thought of putting the baby up for adoption? 15 is much too young to be a mother. It would give her a second chance.

xomrs.chase
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:45 PM
Restraining order against him.
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