Scared for My Daughter and Grandchild (Long-I know I will be judged)
I know I'll be judged but maybe I'll get some good advice out of this post.
My daughter, who just finished her sophomore year, is close to 7 months pregnant. She is due in September. Of my 2 children, she is not the one I would have expected this to happen to. Straight A student, involved in drama club, very into health and fitness, volunteering within the church and community. She has come a long way in the past 2 and a half years, losing 60 lbs and battling through anorexia, bulimia, and self injury, as well as dealing with the aftermath of being molested.
She was just beginning to stablilize mentally when she met the father of her child. At first he was every mother's dream. Kind, respectful, straight A athlete. A high school senior Very into music with an ultimate dream of going to college for film production. They were together for 7 months when she got pregnant.
Before anyone brings this up, my daughter was on birth control. Apparently, she is in the small percentage of those who the depo shot fails. She was also using condoms, but did not think anything of it when one broke due to the birth control.
When she and BF found out she was pregnant, he wanted her to have an abortion. My daughter, knowing that she would spiral down the wrong path if she killed her child (she is pro choice, but told me she could not stomach the thought of killing her own baby) held firm and said no. Releculantly, he gave up his scholarship to his dream school and began working 40-50 weeks at a local fast food place, while still finishing school. Then, one day in April, he up and left. Claimed the baby wasn't is, called her a whore and a slut, made nasty posts and tweets and pages about her.
My daughter was broken. She tried to keep it together but I could tell she wasn't okay. Finally, a week ago, she broke down and told me everything. Apparently, he began abusing her early into her pregnancy. First verbally, accusing her of sleeping around, telling her she ruined his life so he would ruin hers. Then physically. When she was around 3 and a half months pregnant, he pushed her down the stairs and hit her so hard he left bruises. Thankfully, baby was alright. I feel guilty, I asked her where the bruise on her arm was from and she told me she ran into something. I didn't think anything of it because it was one bruise. Apparently she had bruises all over her ribcage as well. The thing that killed me the most, was when she looked me in the eyes and cried.."mommy, he forced me to have sex every day. and when I refused he started having sex with other girls." When I asked her why she would stay with someone like that, her response was heartbreaking. "I wanted my baby to have the family I never had."
My daughter, because she is 15, struggled to find a job. She did everything she could, picking up babysitting jobs 3-4 nights a week. She has so far boughten a crib, changing table, crib matress, bassinet, bouncy seat, and some clothes and bottles. She has also saved close to 500 dollars in the bank. I know it's not a lot, but she is trying. She wants to keep her baby, she is adamant about that, and I support her 100%. She is trying very hard, taking 4 summer classes as well as getting the work to get ahead in her junior year. At this rate, she will graduate high school a year early with over 20 college credits (through AP/community college credits). She has been filling out job applications daily and making money any way she can. She is going to be a good mother. But I am worried about her.
She barely eats. Prepregnancy, she was 142 lbs at 5 foot 7 inches tall, very muscular and athletic (ran 5 miles a day). Now, at 26 weeks, she is 140 lbs. I know thats only 2 lbs, but she looks a lot thinner. Her collarbone juts out, and you can see her ribs. I know she is extremely stressed and it decreases her appetite, but she told me she still feels fat if she eats no matter what. I think a lot of it is the online harassment from the ex and his friends. I have gone to the police, but the most they could do was give a warning because the tweets and posts were indirect. She has deleted all of her social media but she still hears of the things they are saying and it hurts her.
I'm at a loss. If anyone has any advice, comments, or suggestions please let me know.