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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

UPDATE: my 5yo niece is beating up my 8mo daughter...help!

Posted by on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:22 AM
  • 132 Replies

 so this just began yesterday, my BIL lives with us due to his recent divorce and he gets his daughter every other weekend. Usually she is such a doll, she always wants to help change the diapers and feed my daughter, and hold her...well, yesterday, my niece, Emma, and I were sitting on my bed with my daughter, Amelia. Amelia starts crawling toward her and my niece pushed her back with force saying, "no, Amelia, don't climb on me!" and I said, "we don't push, Emma, okay? Its not nice and Amelia doesn't know any better" she said "okay" and that was that.

literally 30 minutes later, we are in my living room and Amelia is standing, holding on to the couch, having a good time, laughing and all, and then Emma just comes up and kicks her with full force in the chest and my daughter fell straight back and hit her head on the floor. I'm holding her, trying to console her and I say, "Emma! Why did you do that?!?!". She replied saying, "I wanted to play with her" I told her nobody plays like that, especially not babies, and that she needed to apologize. Emma said "why? She won't understand anyways" and I said, "well then give her a hug and a kiss, she'll understand that." but my niece refused! She said she won't kiss Amelia because she slobbers and she won't hug her. Period.

when my brother in law came home, I addressed the issue and HE GOT MAD AT ME! all he said was "come on Emma, lets go play" and gave me a look like, 'how dare you talk smack about my child'.

later that night, he was outside smoking and Amelia and I were playing on the floor while Emma played a phone game on the couch and she just looks at Amelia and grabs a stuffed animal and chucks it at her! It missed her, so I said nothing. At this point, I feel like there's nothing I can do. I'm not allowed to discipline and I obviously can't address her violence to my BIL and I hardly know her mother, so I'm absolutely stuck.

I told my husband about what had happened and he said, "we just have to really watch Emma around Amelia."

 

Update: I just tried to talk to BIL about Emma's behavior. Basically this was the conversation:

me: I would like to talk to you about something important and I would appreciate if you just listen, don't interrupt, and don't get mad.

BIL: okay, what is it.

me: there were a few incidences yesterday where Emma hurt Amelia and I think it could have to do with the divorce...

BIL: no it does not! That's your problem! You always have to sit and judge a situation that you know nothing about! The problem is that Emma has always been the youngest in her group of friends and they all play rough zombie games and she is only five! She doesn't understand that Amelia can't play like that!

and then he walked away.

by on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:26 AM
6 moms liked this
If she can't play nice, she wouldn't be allowed to come to my house. Kids get rowdy enough playing nicely and frankly 5yo is old enough to know better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:26 AM
4 moms liked this
If any of my neices did that. Depending on neice I would spank them or put them in time out. She is five that is old enough to know better.
CheesyKitty
by on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:28 AM
Just don't leave them alone together. Tell her if she's mean to baby you can't play with her. You only like to play with nice girls.

I have 10 nieces and nephews under 6. Talking in their words helps a lot. Ask if she wants you to be her friend or a mean bossy aunt? And tell her what you expect from your friends.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:28 AM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't allow her back in the house and if the bill has a problem with that he can find a new place to live.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
3 moms liked this
Were you watching her while Bil was at work? If so tell him that you will be placing her in time out if she hurts your child and that if he doesn't like it - move out. It sounds like Emma is jealous though.
AjsMom0508
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
10 moms liked this
Tell your BIL he can have his visitation elsewhere because his child is not welcome in your home until she learns how to behave and treat others. If he doesn't like give him his 30 day notice to get out. I would not put up with that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Put her in time out.
I don't care who's child it is, if your in my house and you do something to need it, your going in time out. If the parent does not like it. Then they don't have to let their child come over.
SerenityBerry
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
Tell BIL that whether he wants to believe it or not it happened and it is endangering your child and as it is your home he needs to either get her behavior under control ( possibly a visit to an adjustment psychologist) or they need to find somewhere else to live.
grannie_kel
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this

This child is living in your home and at times under your care and you are not allowed to discipline?  Says who? 

angl_gurl1
by Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:29 AM
2 moms liked this

It is your house. Emma needs to be disiplined or Emma and, her dad need to find some place else to stay. U control the house not Emma or her dad

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