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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What some people don't get about SAHM

This is just a vent about my own situation. I'm not bashing anyone or comparing.

I've never gotten any mean comments about sahm in real life, but people make comments like "I wish I could just play with my kids all day!" Or "it must be great spending so much time with your kid!" The thing I think they don't understand is that I don't actually get to play with him that much. To be clear, I'm speaking as the mother of a child under school age. it would probably be different if he was in school.

Ds is with me most of the time. I haven't been able to find any playgroups or anything, and the neighbor kids are all older, so I'm his only playmate when dh is at work. I do everything I can for him, but there are many days he just doesn't want me. He sees me all the time and I'm boring to him. He fights me on nearly everything, and there are a lot of days lately where he just screams at me no matter what I try. He's not like that with dh unless he's super tired or sick. I'll probably get a ton of shit for this post. Bash if you must. I just miss having a good time with my kid. It's probably just part of his toddler phase, but it's really wearing on me.
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 11:19 AM

I would tell people it was none of their business. That they CHOOSE to work outside the home. I have 3 kids 7, 6 and 4. When they were all younger 3,2 and NB, life sucked. It still does, just not as hard in some ways... " Diapers. " My two oldest are ADHD. My oldest has ODD too. My 4 yr old screams 24/7. My middle never listens. My kids are just hard. We have no support, so that gets hard.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Kids need social interaction with other people.  When my son was little I stayed home with him.  But I enrolled him in a day care for a few hours a week so he had some interaction with other children and adults.  And gives Mom a break too.  

myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 11:56 AM
As far as I can tell there's nothing in our area. I've called and asked around everywhere I can think of. There's a MOPs group, but we aren't Christian so church meetings would be very uncomfortable. I'm not sure they even take kids this young anyway.

Quoting raegansmom:

 I was a SAHM when DD was younger.  I also didn't know any other moms in the area.  I found a mommy & me type pre-school that we attended together (DD was 2 at the time).  It allowed her to socialize with other kids, and my with other adults.  She continued with pre-school from then on.  Just  a few hours a week.  It helped us both.  Maybe worth looking into?

myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 11:58 AM
I so wish we could do that. He would have a blast. Unfortunately we can't afford it. I'm looking for work so our situation will change soon anyway. It's just been a very rough couple of weeks.

Quoting Anonymous:

Kids need social interaction with other people.  When my son was little I stayed home with him.  But I enrolled him in a day care for a few hours a week so he had some interaction with other children and adults.  And gives Mom a break too.  

raegansmom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 12:42 PM

 Call the elementary school & ask them.  You may be surprised!  This mommy & me class was in the basement of a church (we are not religious) so if I wouldn't have called the school, I would not have known it was there!  Or even call a larger day care in your area.  These people (schools, daycares, etc) usually know of other programs in the area.

Quoting myempyreofdirt: As far as I can tell there's nothing in our area. I've called and asked around everywhere I can think of. There's a MOPs group, but we aren't Christian so church meetings would be very uncomfortable. I'm not sure they even take kids this young anyway.
Quoting raegansmom:

 I was a SAHM when DD was younger.  I also didn't know any other moms in the area.  I found a mommy & me type pre-school that we attended together (DD was 2 at the time).  It allowed her to socialize with other kids, and my with other adults.  She continued with pre-school from then on.  Just  a few hours a week.  It helped us both.  Maybe worth looking into?

 

Silvernail
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 12:53 PM
My husband and I moved to a new state for most of last year I knew 2 people and they lives about 15 minutes from us but they both worked so we didn't get together a lot. We thankfully lived near the library that had great programs from newborn on up that I took our son to. He got to be in a new place and get around other kids and I got out of the house and tried to meet new people.

So look into the library, hopefully if they are a good one they have programs for young kids. Also now is the perfect time to get involved at the library with summer reading programs starting.
4Dragons
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 12:58 PM

I wish my kids thought I was boring -_- I spend all day with the tot clamoring around me and the baby cries unless I'm holding him. I finally got him playing on the floor right now and he's still grabbing my leg.

But yeah, as a SAHM, I totally feel you. It is not all fun and games. I was just thinking that yeah, it's awesome that I get to be here for everything.. but that includes not just the fun, cute stuff. Yes I saw first steps, heard first words, received first kisses... but I also have to clean and smell poop explosions and vomit, get peed on, I have to deal with screaming tantrums, miersable teething or sick baby. I don't think I've been able to finish a cup of coffee without reheating it at least once (some days it's reheated like 3 or 4 times) in months. My back is a mess from constantly holding/picking up/setting down the baby.

The grass is always greener though!

myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 1:47 PM
Ugh, the coffee thing drives me nuts! I hate reheated coffee so I usually end up with less than half a cup in me. I feel you on the back problems too. I've been in physical therapy the last 2 months because of them. The pt told me sahps have one of the hardest jobs as far as posture and strain on the body. I'm sure I would just have different things to bitch about if I worked. I'm just ready for a change. My son needs more than I can offer him as a sahm.

Quoting 4Dragons:

I wish my kids thought I was boring -_- I spend all day with the tot clamoring around me and the baby cries unless I'm holding him. I finally got him playing on the floor right now and he's still grabbing my leg.

But yeah, as a SAHM, I totally feel you. It is not all fun and games. I was just thinking that yeah, it's awesome that I get to be here for everything.. but that includes not just the fun, cute stuff. Yes I saw first steps, heard first words, received first kisses... but I also have to clean and smell poop explosions and vomit, get peed on, I have to deal with screaming tantrums, miersable teething or sick baby. I don't think I've been able to finish a cup of coffee without reheating it at least once (some days it's reheated like 3 or 4 times) in months. My back is a mess from constantly holding/picking up/setting down the baby.

The grass is always greener though!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Ditto.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jun. 23, 2014 at 1:54 PM
When DS was about 2, I wanted to go to work so bad. He was on me ALL the time. I remember one day calling DH and just crying about wanting to poop by myself, lol. I was like "you get to leave! You get to poop! I want to poop!" I was a mess, loo.
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