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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What some people don't get about SAHM

This is just a vent about my own situation. I'm not bashing anyone or comparing.

I've never gotten any mean comments about sahm in real life, but people make comments like "I wish I could just play with my kids all day!" Or "it must be great spending so much time with your kid!" The thing I think they don't understand is that I don't actually get to play with him that much. To be clear, I'm speaking as the mother of a child under school age. it would probably be different if he was in school.

Ds is with me most of the time. I haven't been able to find any playgroups or anything, and the neighbor kids are all older, so I'm his only playmate when dh is at work. I do everything I can for him, but there are many days he just doesn't want me. He sees me all the time and I'm boring to him. He fights me on nearly everything, and there are a lot of days lately where he just screams at me no matter what I try. He's not like that with dh unless he's super tired or sick. I'll probably get a ton of shit for this post. Bash if you must. I just miss having a good time with my kid. It's probably just part of his toddler phase, but it's really wearing on me.
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Replies (21-30):
MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Jun. 23, 2014 at 1:55 PM

what about meetup.com or through your town's civic center/city hall?  Also just call the leader of the MOPs group, explain you're not a church goer and see if you'd still fit.  Ask if it's a Christian based organization or what.  What is the worse she can say,  I doubt she will say get lost you damned pagan, lol.  Idt MOPs is Christian they are just Moms of Preschoolers.

Quoting myempyreofdirt: As far as I can tell there's nothing in our area. I've called and asked around everywhere I can think of. There's a MOPs group, but we aren't Christian so church meetings would be very uncomfortable. I'm not sure they even take kids this young anyway.
Quoting raegansmom:

 I was a SAHM when DD was younger.  I also didn't know any other moms in the area.  I found a mommy & me type pre-school that we attended together (DD was 2 at the time).  It allowed her to socialize with other kids, and my with other adults.  She continued with pre-school from then on.  Just  a few hours a week.  It helped us both.  Maybe worth looking into?


myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:03 PM
I had several of those days last week. :( I do get to poop alone, but ds has been refusing to nap and then just screaming all day. Plus of course he flails around and I take multiple blows to the face. So I'm blubbering to my poor husband about how I just want to have a rational conversation, and spend time with someone who thanks me for giving them food instead of throwing it at my head.

Quoting Danesmommy1: When DS was about 2, I wanted to go to work so bad. He was on me ALL the time. I remember one day calling DH and just crying about wanting to poop by myself, lol. I was like "you get to leave! You get to poop! I want to poop!" I was a mess, loo.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:36 PM
Get down and take the time to play with your kid.... that should change him mind about you.
katrina.0822
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:36 PM

 I was a SAHM for the first year and a WOHM for the last 2 years and both definitely have their own challenges. I miss seeing my son all day, every day, I miss waking up naturally with him and not fighting to get him changed into clothes at 6:30 am, and not stressing over "routine" But when I do have days off I'm SO excited to see my baby boy BUT DS isn't happy. He wants to go to daycare. He asks to see his friends constantly. He likes morning snuggles but around 10 am he's asking for "his Denisey." DS is an only child so our current challenge even with me working full time is he doesn't want to leave daycare for the same concept "mom is boring."

Both have their challenges. I never understood the mommy wars. Why can't we all just coexist?

Quoting myempyreofdirt: I don't want anyone to think I'm saying working moms have it easier. I've never been one so I don't know. I'm sure the problems I have are just replaced with different ones though. Everything has ups and downs.
Quoting ttriddick: Aw. Been there before. And it does suck. Hang in there! Being a mom is hard work, working outside of the home or not. I've never quite understood what the pissing match between wahm, sahm, and wohm was all about lol

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:37 PM

So get a job. Or find a playgroup-or do what one of my sitters did-find a kid about the same age who needs watching-built in playmate and some extra cash.

I hired a sitter once for 3 days after school. She had a 3 and 5 year old (who was not yet in school) I walked into her house for the interview-and it was worth at LEAST 750K- so of course my first question was-why do you want to do this?

She hadn't had much luck with play groups and she liked the idea of 3 days a week-and thought it would be great for her children.  She had been a kindergarten teacher and missed earning her own money.

And her son constantly wanted to play with other kids. My son (who was 6) fit the bill perfectly.

Sp she got an extra $120 a week, and her son got a playmate. It worked out perfectly for us.

myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:54 PM
I spend the better part of the day trying to play with him. He'll have fun for a few minutes and then throw a fit about something random, or even nothing at all.

Quoting Anonymous: Get down and take the time to play with your kid.... that should change him mind about you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 2:58 PM

That was the cae with mie as well. it was that she always saw me and needed a change. after she got older I made it a point to have sleep overs a lot and tea parties. that helped a ton till I went to work then the bed wetting came and soon she was at work with me. I would do it all over again before getting a sitter though. My sistter was found having sex on my kitchen counter. another one I came home to find she had three friends over all drinking while my child sat in the play pen playing. 

amandajoy21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:14 PM
As a mom who works outside of the home when we say something along those lines it is normally from a place of wishful thinking not to try and belittle what SAHPs do at home. You have no idea how much it hurts to have to tell your child mommy would love to take the day off to play with you, but I can't because I have to work.

Check your local library, bookstore , and city centers they often have free or cheap things to do that would allow him some social interactions and you to have some adult conversation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:19 PM
There is a lot that people don't understand about being a sahm. I hate people who say I have it easy because that is so far from the truth. I am mentally exhausted.
myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:19 PM
I don't think anyone who said it to me was trying to be hurtful. I just get really sensitive sometimes when ds seems to hate me. I know I'll miss him when I get a job. I'm a little afraid he won't miss me at all. *sigh* I guess being a parent is pretty thankless sometimes either way.

Quoting amandajoy21: As a mom who works outside of the home when we say something along those lines it is normally from a place of wishful thinking not to try and belittle what SAHPs do at home. You have no idea how much it hurts to have to tell your child mommy would love to take the day off to play with you, but I can't because I have to work.

Check your local library, bookstore , and city centers they often have free or cheap things to do that would allow him some social interactions and you to have some adult conversation.
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