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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What some people don't get about SAHM

This is just a vent about my own situation. I'm not bashing anyone or comparing.

I've never gotten any mean comments about sahm in real life, but people make comments like "I wish I could just play with my kids all day!" Or "it must be great spending so much time with your kid!" The thing I think they don't understand is that I don't actually get to play with him that much. To be clear, I'm speaking as the mother of a child under school age. it would probably be different if he was in school.

Ds is with me most of the time. I haven't been able to find any playgroups or anything, and the neighbor kids are all older, so I'm his only playmate when dh is at work. I do everything I can for him, but there are many days he just doesn't want me. He sees me all the time and I'm boring to him. He fights me on nearly everything, and there are a lot of days lately where he just screams at me no matter what I try. He's not like that with dh unless he's super tired or sick. I'll probably get a ton of shit for this post. Bash if you must. I just miss having a good time with my kid. It's probably just part of his toddler phase, but it's really wearing on me.
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:20 PM

try meetup.com, MOPs, mom's club, or local libary or church events. You guys need to get out! (SPeaking as SAHM myself who would go crazy if i didn't get out.)

amandajoy21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:23 PM
Trust me when you find work and aren't home all the time with him he won't want to leave your side. My son is 7 and I can't do much without my little shadow by my side.

Quoting myempyreofdirt: I don't think anyone who said it to me was trying to be hurtful. I just get really sensitive sometimes when ds seems to hate me. I know I'll miss him when I get a job. I'm a little afraid he won't miss me at all. *sigh* I guess being a parent is pretty thankless sometimes either way.

Quoting amandajoy21: As a mom who works outside of the home when we say something along those lines it is normally from a place of wishful thinking not to try and belittle what SAHPs do at home. You have no idea how much it hurts to have to tell your child mommy would love to take the day off to play with you, but I can't because I have to work.

Check your local library, bookstore , and city centers they often have free or cheap things to do that would allow him some social interactions and you to have some adult conversation.
bellygirl
by Silver Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM

You need to get involved in play groups, drive a little farther than you'd want for a park, get him in soccer or some other pee wee program.  I am a teacher and when for 4 years (before I had my twins), I was the only playmate for my son.  None of our relatives were close enough to visit on a regular basis.  We went to the park a lot.  I jogged with him everyday in our jogging stroller, we went to the library a few times a week, went for walks and just talked and talked.  Just get out of the house and go for a walk.  I used to call them "learning walks".  We talked about everything he saw.  Let him walk and wear himself out.  Get out of the house. 

veramiller
by New Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Have you tried meetup.com to find mom groups? I have blogs at http://lostrussianfamily.wordpress.com/

and http://thenewkindergarten.wordpress.com/ for hobbies.

myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:33 PM
We do similar things. He loves the back yard, so we go out there daily. We take walks, usually around the store since that's where we happen to be when we take dh to work. He isn't old enough for a lot of organized activities, but I try to keep fun things around like play doh and finger paint. I think a big part of the problem is the boy seems to thrive on chaos. There's only so much noise and craziness I can create. He does much better when we have family over and everyone is laughing and talking.

Quoting bellygirl:

You need to get involved in play groups, drive a little farther than you'd want for a park, get him in soccer or some other pee wee program.  I am a teacher and when for 4 years (before I had my twins), I was the only playmate for my son.  None of our relatives were close enough to visit on a regular basis.  We went to the park a lot.  I jogged with him everyday in our jogging stroller, we went to the library a few times a week, went for walks and just talked and talked.  Just get out of the house and go for a walk.  I used to call them "learning walks".  We talked about everything he saw.  Let him walk and wear himself out.  Get out of the house. 

mommyflaw
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 3:47 PM

I have two toddlers and I understand. My days are usually spent cleaning, arguing, and fighting off tears. People seem to have a very warped view of SAHMs.

pinkdaisy8864
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Wait till he's 16. He'll never want to hang out with you :(

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jun. 23, 2014 at 4:03 PM

I've never been there. People assume because I have 4 kid's I don't have time to do anything which is kinda annoying. If someone is talking about reading and I say I read they say "You have time for that??" and the same with working out. 

I'm sure someone out there thinks I'm lazy, lol but mostly people assume because I have 4 kid's I don't have time to do anything, lol.

myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM
I know, that's why I still rock him to sleep for naps and bed lol. My in laws keep insisting I should stop, but there really isn't very long that a child will even let you do that. He'll be off doing his own thing before I know it. I think that's what bothers me about his attitude some days. All too soon he'll be grown.

Quoting pinkdaisy8864:

Wait till he's 16. He'll never want to hang out with you :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM

I understand. I was a sahm for the first two years and about went crazy. I decided to start a daycare out of my home and believe it or not, things actually got much better. DS calmed down once he got around other kids, during naptimes and quiet times I was able to get stuff done. People say it's easier with one kid, but I really think in some ways it's harder.

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