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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you ask Grandpa for Help with Son's Tuition?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 394 Replies

My son received a scholarship and is an honor student.  The scholarship is for $1000 dollars a semester, and the tuition is $8500 a semester.  He's also going to need to get a reliable car for commuting.  We also have a daughter attending the community college, and pay for most of her tuition.  My children both have part time jobs and pay for some of their expenses.  They are both good kids.  My husband and I help them as much as we can.  We both work hard, but the money flies out as soon as it comes in.

My husband's father is financially well set.  In the past he mentioned helping the kids with college tuition and vehicles, but he hasn't said anything lately.  Our son could use some financial help right now.  He could possibly get student loans, but the interest rates are so high, and there's no guarantee he'll get a job in his field when he graduates.

My husband's sister and her 18 year old son live with my father in law.She's 40, but lives like an overgrown teenager.  She wastes her money being a "Sugar Momma" to her"Boy Toy" boyfriend, and plastic surgery.  My father in law is planning to buy my nephew a pretty  new car(2012), and also pay for him to go to the community college.  I am upset!  What message does this send to my children?  That he values my nephew more? My nephew is spoiled like his mother.  Any money he's earned, he's spent on frivolous stuff. My kids actually have saved some money.

My husband doesn't want to say anything, but I think we should ask if he could help our son now too.-especially since he mentioned it in the past, and could afford it.  Why should our children be treated second rate.  I think the grandchildren should be treated equally.  

My parents are deceased as well as my hubby's mom,so Gramps is the only relative we can ask for help, and he is well off.

My sister in law has never been married, and nephew never met his dad.  Do you think this is why Grandpa thinks it's ok to do more for him.  Do you think  he thinks at all about how this makes my kids feel?  It does bother them that he gets special treatment, and I don't understand how he doesn't see that this would cause hurt feelings.  

What do you think?  What would you do?  I feel really badly about the situation. : (  Grandpa is generally a kind, generous man.  We see him all the time.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:55 PM
16 moms liked this
It's not your money, it's not even your father. Leave it alone.
happinessforyou
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:57 PM
5 moms liked this

I was going to say no, no way.  But if he offered in the past I would ask him if his offer was still good.

I wouldn't say anything about his loser daughter though...

archerkaty
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:57 PM
4 moms liked this

Never hurts to ask.

frankiesma530
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Well hubby doesn't want to say anything so you shouldn't. I have no problem asking my father for help if we need it but I would not go to my husband's family without his ok. 

By the way, I don't think the way gramps treats your nephew should have anything to do with your son. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:59 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 5:59 PM

I wouldn't ask.  The interest rates on student loans aren't that high.

furbabymum
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 6:01 PM
7 moms liked this

 Squeaky wheel gets the grease you know.

personally, why on Earth would you son get a degree in something if he's not sure he's employable with it? What a waste of money!

Ourselves, if we can't pay for their school they need to figure crap out themselves. That's how my Dh ended up in the Air Force for 4 years. He's lived to tell the tale.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 6:02 PM
5 moms liked this
I would never ask for help. As a parent, it is my duty to provide for them, even if it meant taking out loans.
Texor
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Has your son applied for FAFSA? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this
If he offered I would bring it up. But you can't be resentful about what he does with his own money. You need to try and let that go.
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