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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my husband and I just went on a marriage retreat. and......

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:31 PM
  • 232 Replies
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We had a good time, I really enjoyed the classes...our chaplain mashed up the 5 love languages and the 7 affective habit of army families...based off the 7 habits of highly affective people or whatever. ..


He did a great job!


Anyway, so finding out that my husbands love language is acts of service.


I'm having a hard time with this...

When we met he knew I was like disfunctionally unorganized and messy.

Yet he married me anyway. Staying organized in a small house [1100 Sq ft] for 4 people with like literally 3 closets is compounding my disfunction ways.

I guess I have a hard time comprehending how this makes him feel loved? And besides cleaning what are acts of services? We didn't get into the nitty gritty of the lo e language. ...so help a sister out!

We are on the cusp of divorce. I want to try and be better.
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Michaelsmom0522
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:33 PM
Cooking for him could be one.
Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:34 PM
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Make him a sammich! LOL. Rub his back.  Do things for him that you normally wouldn't.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM
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Congrats.....Good luck.


I am not sure which one is appropiate.
mlpcrusader
by Silver Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM
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I was not cut out for this domestic stuff lol. On the other hand every time I cook he has something negative to say. Yeah, helpful I know. Guess I'll keep chugging on.

Quoting Michaelsmom0522: Cooking for him could be one.
echoishername
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM
31 and Ikea sell awesome organizers. Just saying. Cooking, massages after a hard day, mowing the lawn....
mommy2boys03
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM

Maybe just doing special things just for him?  Making his favorite dinner?  Not sure but good luck.  Maybe ask him what types of thing would make him feel like you love him.  Communication is very important to save any marriage.

Dolcepsle
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM
Acts of service can be as simple as plating his food. Doing his wash without him asking if something is clean. Taking his car to get washed or fill it up with gas so he doesn't have to. Maybe do the one thing he hates to do but is his "chore."

I feel you on the keeping up with stuff. We have a 4 bedroom house, 2300 sqft and we have three bedroom closets, a tiny pantry and an even tinier hall closet that you can't even fit towels or linens in. It makes staying 100% on top of things impossible.
mlpcrusader
by Silver Member on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Back rubs are acts of services? Hmmm...I'm clearly way over my head.

Quoting Mrs.Torres2566:

Make him a sammich! LOL. Rub his back.  Do things for him that you normally wouldn't.

mich2.0
by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:36 PM
A massage, cooking, cleaning, running an errand for him, after a hard day take out the trash for him (or whatever is usually "his" job).
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:36 PM
Do the lawn so he doesn't have to?
Do things in bed for him that are just for him. Don't do it because you want something back. Obviously not all the time, just every once in a while. It doesn't even always have to be intimate things, just do stuff for him without wanting something in return.
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