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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It is amazing what a little structure can do.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

Back story: My sister and her husband have completely given up on parenting my nephew, who is 4 years old. He runs the house and when he doesn't get his way he does a fake whine/cry until they give him what he wants, when they do try to set rules/limits he runs through the house ripping things down and throwing them while screaming. He won't even wipe his own butt after he poops, just screams for the toilet that he needs someone to wipe him. 

(She keeps saying that there is something "wrong" with him and taking him to the doctors but what he really needs is a routine, rules and someone to enforce those rules)

Current story: We were just at their house for a few days to visit and before I brought my nephew and my kids down to our aunts house for a visit. (Several states away) Driving with him was stressful, I spend most of the time reminding him that their were other people in the car so he needed to be calm. Those 2 hours he slept were priceless. 

The first night at my aunts was horrific, he did pretty much nothing but whine/cry/scream because there are rules now. He didn't eat his dinner and was told that there were no snacks after dinner so he would be hungry. He took a few bites and said he was done then whined for almost an hour about how he was starving and NEEDED cookies...NOW!! (He was offered his dinner to eat if he was truly hungry) Everything triggered some sort of over dramatic fake cry/whine until we finally got him to sleep!

This morning I swear he is a new kid. He still slips into his normal behavior but after a quick reminder that whining isn't acceptable, that if he wants something he has to talk. He is following the rules without a second thought and has been so much more pleasant to be around. 

It really is amazing what a little structure and soft reminders can do for a child. I know it'll go back to normal when he gets home but at least for now he is thriving. He is such a sweet and loving boy but it is hard to see it under everything else. I am so glad I get to enjoy it for a while!

I feel that routines, structure and rules are so important for kids, they thrive in those situations. Agree? Disagree?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 25, 2014 at 1:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 1:50 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 25, 2014 at 1:53 PM

I agree 100%.  Write down the rules and such for his mom when you take him back. It should be easy to keep him in the structure now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 1:57 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree 100%.  Write down the rules and such for his mom when you take him back. It should be easy to keep him in the structure now.

If I think that she would follow through with it I would.

summerlove3677
by Platinum Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Its so much easier to just parent the child. It creates so much less stress in the house. I really cant understand people who just let their kid run everything.

My cousin is like your sister with her kid. And now, the girl is 6 and is now the kid no one wants to babysit. My grandpa told her the little girl isn't allowed at their house without her mother. I refuse to watch her because she's a brat
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 2:01 PM


Quoting summerlove3677: I agree. Its so much easier to just parent the child. It creates so much less stress in the house. I really cant understand people who just let their kid run everything. My cousin is like your sister with her kid. And now, the girl is 6 and is now the kid no one wants to babysit. My grandpa told her the little girl isn't allowed at their house without her mother. I refuse to watch her because she's a brat

By the end of the weekend I was so stressed out. My kids wanted to know why they couldn't have cookies for breakfast and in my head I was thinking "Because I love you enough to tell you no". It was constantly "Why does (nephew) get to do (XYZ) and we can't". Grrrr. 


summerlove3677
by Platinum Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 2:02 PM
Its so sad because they aren't doing the children any favors.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting summerlove3677: I agree. Its so much easier to just parent the child. It creates so much less stress in the house. I really cant understand people who just let their kid run everything.

My cousin is like your sister with her kid. And now, the girl is 6 and is now the kid no one wants to babysit. My grandpa told her the little girl isn't allowed at their house without her mother. I refuse to watch her because she's a brat

By the end of the weekend I was so stressed out. My kids wanted to know why they couldn't have cookies for breakfast and in my head I was thinking "Because I love you enough to tell you no". It was constantly "Why does (nephew) get to do (XYZ) and we can't". Grrrr. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 2:07 PM

I really am afraid of him being labeled with something because he acts out, when in reality he just needs discipline. 

Quoting summerlove3677: Its so sad because they aren't doing the children any favors.
Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting summerlove3677: I agree. Its so much easier to just parent the child. It creates so much less stress in the house. I really cant understand people who just let their kid run everything. My cousin is like your sister with her kid. And now, the girl is 6 and is now the kid no one wants to babysit. My grandpa told her the little girl isn't allowed at their house without her mother. I refuse to watch her because she's a brat

By the end of the weekend I was so stressed out. My kids wanted to know why they couldn't have cookies for breakfast and in my head I was thinking "Because I love you enough to tell you no". It was constantly "Why does (nephew) get to do (XYZ) and we can't". Grrrr. 


summerlove3677
by Platinum Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 2:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I get it. Parents now a days would rather label their kids and drug them than actually parent

Quoting Anonymous:

I really am afraid of him being labeled with something because he acts out, when in reality he just needs discipline. 

Quoting summerlove3677: Its so sad because they aren't doing the children any favors.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting summerlove3677: I agree. Its so much easier to just parent the child. It creates so much less stress in the house. I really cant understand people who just let their kid run everything.

My cousin is like your sister with her kid. And now, the girl is 6 and is now the kid no one wants to babysit. My grandpa told her the little girl isn't allowed at their house without her mother. I refuse to watch her because she's a brat

By the end of the weekend I was so stressed out. My kids wanted to know why they couldn't have cookies for breakfast and in my head I was thinking "Because I love you enough to tell you no". It was constantly "Why does (nephew) get to do (XYZ) and we can't". Grrrr. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 4:34 PM

BUMP!

donnafaye
by Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 4:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Agree

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