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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mil related: Somebody is being ridiculous and I'm pretty sure it's not me UPDATE!! 2nd UPDATE 3rd (final) Update!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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A couple months ago I suggested to dh that we fly his mom out for a week to visit and meet our daughter, who is 4 and never met any of dh's family. Dh makes good money but as we have a mortgage and sizable student loans we live on a tight budget. A single ticket from her city to ours is nearly 800$ so this is a definite financial undertaking for us.

She responded by telling him that she doesn't want to come out here and she would prefer that we buy 3 plane tickets, rent an rv and park in their yard for a week. This is not financially possible for us but dh is trying to find some way to make it work because he loves his mother. He also didn't see any of this from my perspective of the daughter-in-law who is not at all liked because she always makes sure to put on this sickeningly sweet act when he is around but then goes around saying all sorts of garbage to other relatives and friends about me. Hence I have zero desire to go out there at all.

I am frustrated for several reasons, not least of which is that she is constantly expecting dh to spend money on his siblings/ her and on the rate occasions that I have talked with her she goes on and on like he has all this money to burn and that is simply not the case. (If only you could have heard her go on when we were planning our wedding!) Our offer to fly her out was very generous given our financial situation but now I feel like she is throwing it back at us saying it's not good enough. Also I have no desire to spend a week in an rv in the crazy humidity of her region and dealing with in-laws who have spent the last 8 years treating me like garbage.

Sorry it's so long. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.


UPDATE: Omg, he just emailed and said he thinks we can make it work if we tighten things up here and there. I do NOT want to do this at all. Her coming here was one thing, but spending however long in this situation with people who consider me scum but act like total trash is just not something I'm up for right now.... How did such a great (if blissfully ignorant guy) come from such a wretched family? Help.

2nd Update: Well I emailed him back and told him that I didn't want to go for a variety of reasons but that I was choosing to focus on the financial aspect of it and also that I felt like she was throwing our offer back and saying it wasn't good enough by insisting that we spend more than 3 times the amount her ticket would have cost. This is why email should not exist. Now I'm really in a hole.

Shortly after I sent it my mom told to suck it up and be the better person. I know she's right, but I'm
tired of always having to be the better person. lol

3rd Update: Just got a text from him saying he's decided to completely cancel any sort of travel in either direction. Don't know entirely what made up his mind, but all I have to say is Thank Goodness!!
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Simply no.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:57 PM
7 moms liked this
If she wants to see her gd with that kind of attitude, she can come to you. And stay in an rv in your front yard.
Anouck
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:57 PM

From what you mentioned in this post, I wouldn't have offered to fly her out in the first place. Doesn't sound like somebody I'd want to be associated with. 

Medic32
by RN=Rescue Ninja on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:59 PM
She is speaking bitch and he doesn't understand the language.
907PickleMom
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Yup!

Quoting Anonymous: If she wants to see her gd with that kind of attitude, she can come to you. And stay in an rv in your front yard.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 6:59 PM
So true!

Quoting Medic32: She is speaking bitch and he doesn't understand the language.
R00k
by on Jun. 25, 2014 at 7:00 PM
I have learned to take the stance of, "If you would like to see us, it is on your time and your dime. Not ours." If we would like to visit them it would be the same, on our time and our dime.

They are adults who are perfectly capable of handling that.

However, I had to learn this the hard way. The expensive way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 7:01 PM
Normally neither would I but it was mother's day and something came over me. I will certainly never suggest it again as she's so ungrateful.

Quoting Anouck:

From what you mentioned in this post, I wouldn't have offered to fly her out in the first place. Doesn't sound like somebody I'd want to be associated with. 

mrsmoonbeam
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 7:06 PM
4 moms liked this
This or she can fly out on her broomstick

Quoting Anonymous: If she wants to see her gd with that kind of attitude, she can come to you. And stay in an rv in your front yard.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 25, 2014 at 7:10 PM
This made me lol

Quoting mrsmoonbeam: This or she can fly out on her broomstick

Quoting Anonymous: If she wants to see her gd with that kind of attitude, she can come to you. And stay in an rv in your front yard.
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