I normally dont post personal things on this site but I really need some advice because no one around me seems to take me seriously.
Im honestly starting to believe that I am bi-polar. Ive been in denial for a while about it and I only told two people my feelings. My sister has bi-polar disorder and I read online that it runs in families. I also read through the symptoms and most of them match a lot of what im going through. Im not diagnosing myself but I really feel that I suffer from it. I had ppd for a while and I got help. Im not even sure if it went away.
I talked to my mom about it and her response was that I'll be alright and that Im just stressed. I dont really have anyone else to talk to about this. My sister was found cutting her wrist in the bathroom at school when she was 17, thats when she was diagnosed with the disorder. She was put on syriquil (sp?) and something else. The syriquil made her sleep almost 12-13 hours straight. We could never get her awake or get her to stay awake. I do think drugs will help me but I dont want the same symptoms from drugs like my sister had.
My biggest fear is that I will be deemed an unfit parent if I seek help. I dont have a doctor yet and I dont know where to start. I only have one close friend out here and he is my ear. He listens to me and lets me cry on his shoulder. He also thinks I should seek help. Like I said before I dont know where to start but I really do want to talk to someone and gets some help.
Mommas who have this, can you give me any advice on how to get through this? Im not diagnosing myself at all. I just feel that it is a big possibility that what I am feeling are symptoms from the disorder. Ive been having these feelings for a very very long time. I just really dont know how to handle them anymore.
No bashing please, Im seriously so confused about this right now. Just seeking advice.