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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Grandparents and Favortism!-VENT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 364 Replies
1 mom liked this

I've been reading  a lot about this on here, and here's my situation:

I have a "man child" brother in his 40's who lives with my parents.  He's been DWId and in trouble with drugs.  Now he works pumping gas, and spends his money on beer, while freeloading off my parents.  He spends his free time watching cartoons and playing video games.  He has a 19 year old son, who has also been in trouble with drugs.  He's totaled 2 of my parents cars cause of careless driving.  He's not in school, and just started working at WalMart.  He also lives with my parents.  His mother is in jail for heroin, and my parents try to overcompensate by spoiling him.

The latest is they just bought him a brand new car!  I have a 20 year old son.  He is in college, on the Dean's List, and has a job.  His car is on it's last leg, and my parents know this.  We are trying to scrape together money to  help get him a reliable car, and this really hurts!  My parents could have bought both boys reliable used cars with the money they spent!

Why do grandparents/parents feel the need to pamper the family screw ups?  Don't they see how damaging this is to the good kids? Don't they realize they're enabling/rewarding bad behavior.

We're supposed to see them on July 4th, and I have to say something about this blatant display of favortism!  What would you say? My son is hurt and confused by their actions. : (

*I don't want to hear from all you self-righteous moms that they can spend their money as they want.  Blah, blah, blah.  This is clearly wrong, and they need to be called on it! So please don't post.  I want advice on how to talk with them about this. My son has been hurt by their actions! 

Thanks!

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2014 at 1:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kmeow
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 1:58 PM

It's weird as the opposite happens in my family. My two very wealthy uncles are favored far more than the one who had a DUI and works construction. He's not even invited to things half the time. I am also the favorite grandchild. My grandpa feels like because my dad walked away from me it's his duty to fill that position, or so my mom thinks. I am nowhere near the family screw up.

Edit: As for advice, there's nothing you can say without making you seem totally petty and ridiculous, because as much as you don't want to hear it, your son is not entitled to gifts and they can give it to whoever they want. Sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2014 at 1:59 PM
3 moms liked this

well I have to agree with you. It is wrong. However, regardless of what you say, I doubt they will see your point. They are enablers. And maybe they like feeling needed?

If you have to say something, I would ask why they would give him a brand new car when he totaled two already but couldn't offer to help out their other grandson who isn't constantly messing up.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:00 PM
My mil favors my Sd who is 9 and a spoiled little brat. Then treats dd 2 like she doesn't exist. It makes me so mad! She showers Sd in gifts, money, love and attention & nothing for dd. What pisses me off the most is that my parents (who absolutely adore both kids) live 8 hours away because we chose to be close to HIS family. (Who was supposedly going to be such a big help while he was deployed) ha!
AnHpuresugar
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I hate to say this but it IS their money and they can spend it however they choose.  They are not required to buy your son a new car, as nice as it would be.  You can say something to them but I doubt it will make a difference.  

The only person that you can control is yourself.  

ivy801
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I gave up caring long ago. I do for my kids.
ivy801
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:06 PM
My mom used 10,000 to get one of the screw ups out of jail recently, my youngerst brother is in college could use a car instead but hey it's her money. My little brother takes care of himself you should take a lesson from him.
STVUstudent
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:08 PM
9 moms liked this

well, just say, "Hey, mom, dad... Johhny's car is on it''s last leg and we are struggling a bit now, paying for his college and all.  Any chance you could help us out a little?"

If they say no, well, you will know where you stand.  Hope deadbeat and drug boy take care of them when they are old and can't wipe their butts anymore...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:20 PM
My exs grand mother was like that she favored bil and sil over me and my ex she would drive sil all over the place and to work even though she only lived like 2 blocks from where she worked. I didnt drive either and called her TWICE in the in TWO weeks and she said this had to stop. she died about two years after my son was born and my husband and I had split up so it wasnt a big deal with the grandkids thankgod! I Would have ended up telling her to F off.
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:22 PM
2 moms liked this

you just described my grandparents relationship with everyone but my mom, and my parents relationship with my sister

I don't say anything, it won't do any good anyways

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2014 at 2:27 PM

BUMP!

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