Do you take your kids on errands or appointments with you? I take my kids and step kids everywhere if DH is not available to help. Which is most of the time. Or had to reschedule.
Mom has them for an extended visit and drops them off if she has anything to do. Yes she asks first, but if we don't she will leave them with someone else or alone if she can't find help. Being that she had to go 2 hrs away, I and DH wouldn't risk it. Besides he loves having the kids here so would love a little visit!
My point I guess, is why do I and DH make it my/our responsibility when we have the kids, but she relies on everyone else. What's your point of view? Maybe I'm wrong.