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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I totally screwed up because...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
I feel more betrayed, lost, and devastated by my husband cheating on me than I did when I was sexually assaulted in middle school?

I don't know if it's normal or not how I feel.

My attacker was never supposed to love me, he never promised to. My husband did.
My attacker was never supposed to be trustworthy or be my rock. My husband was.
My attacker didn't father my children. My husband did.
My attacker didn't promise me to be all mine. My husband did.

My feelings over the rape are still sometimes sharp, and cause me emotional vulnerability.
But to be completely honest, that sick feeling I had in my stomach when I found out about my dh was worse.

Bash me if you must, but I'm just being honest.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 27, 2014 at 12:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jun. 27, 2014 at 12:55 AM
2 moms liked this

 I can see why you feel that way. I am sorry those things happened to you.

mehaffiesub
by Lil' Frog on Jun. 27, 2014 at 12:57 AM
Actually your feelings seem normal to me and I am sorry those things happened to you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2014 at 12:58 AM
It happened when I was 13, and I have really made peace with it.

I've chosen to work through things with my dh, we are in counselling and he's seemingly changed his ways... but I kind of want to bring up at our next session that he hurt me worse than my attacker.
Sometimes I don't think he quite understands how badly he destroyed my respect for him.



Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I can see why you feel that way. I am sorry those things happened to you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:00 AM
Thank you.

I have made peace with my sexual assault.
I just wanted to reason with myself and find out if I'm weird for being more hut by my dh

Quoting mehaffiesub: Actually your feelings seem normal to me and I am sorry those things happened to you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:00 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:00 AM
Bump
mom2gmp2
by Silver Member on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:02 AM
I'm sorry these things happened to you. I can understand how you'd feel that and I also understand you wanting to bring it up during therapy. I think that's a good idea. I wish you well.
mehaffiesub
by Lil' Frog on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:05 AM
You are welcome.

Quoting Anonymous: Thank you.

I have made peace with my sexual assault.
I just wanted to reason with myself and find out if I'm weird for being more hut by my dh

Quoting mehaffiesub: Actually your feelings seem normal to me and I am sorry those things happened to you.
JenGo
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:12 AM

That makes complete sense, honestly.

KSBlueyz
by Member on Jun. 27, 2014 at 1:14 AM
Of course he hurt you more...your husband means more to you than that. What you're feeling is normal.

Please do mention how you're feeling. Your therapist needs to hear it and so does your husband. When we hurt others, it's our responsibility to mend that hurt if the other allows us the opportunity to. If you've agreed to work on things and don't tell him honestly how you're feeling, you deprive him that opportunity and you the healing that comes from it...which isn't right. Also, by not letting him make the effort, you'll build resentment for him.
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