Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

trust in the police

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
I've noticed that whenever the police are around, ds gets... scared, nervous, etc. A cop will be behind us and he'll want me to turn on the next street, freaking out if they follow us for a while.

Tonight, I finally asked him what's up. Apparently, dad told him to never trust them. They are the ones who put him in prison. Mom also put him in prison... not his actions put him there, not him refusing to pay CS put him in there (ds is 8, order was set when he was 15 months old- I filed at 3 months... he's paid 5 months in full. Right now, $21,000+ behind). The CS case was only added on to his charges bc of all the other ones. I doubt they would've put him in prison if he wasn't already heading there.

I know some officers are shady, but i also know some are good people trying to do good in the world. How can i get ds to understand that? I don't want to bash dad by saying no son, he stole from people, broke into their houses, stole their cars... but i don't want him to think the police will look at a random person and just decide they need a ride in the back of their cop car..

With dad's history with law enforcement, yea, he knows most of the officers by name. They know him, they "hassle" him whenever he comes around (nothing major, more like how you doing? Staying outta trouble, I hope)..

Ds is 8, has never been in trouble with the law. Most officers we've come into contact has been nice.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:31 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:37 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:40 AM
If you don't want to "bash" dad by telling ds the truth about him what is the reason ds thinks his dad was in jail?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:42 AM
Tell your son the truth. It's not bashing if it's honest.
Clarkfa
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:43 AM
2 moms liked this
I don't trust cops, simply because I've done nothing wrong and they're still assholes
PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm wary of the police too.  Seems there are a lot of bad apples wearing a badge.  But I would tell your son that the cops put his dad in jail because he broke the law.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:48 AM
Honestly, I'm not sure the past reasons. Idk what my ex told him. Knowing him, he was minding his own business when the cops got him, that "innocent" ppl can be picked up for no reason... or that he was trying to save someone, do good and he got in trouble for it. (His one excuse for an evasion charge was that a little girl was being beat so ex took her until he could call her family)

This time around though, ds figured it out by mainly overhearing conversations. Not my convos, but ex's family when he's visiting grandma or his aunt. We've spoken in depth about drugs and how it alters you, makes you do things you wouldn't normally do.

I just don't want ds having an unneeded fear of police ya know.


Quoting Anonymous: If you don't want to "bash" dad by telling ds the truth about him what is the reason ds thinks his dad was in jail?
MomofBoys838
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:51 AM

I agree with the others....just be honest when you tell your son about his dad's jail experiences.

Also, some may disagree with me, but he needs to be taught to, if not trust police, at least he needs to feel comfortable approaching them.  One day he may need to ask a police officer for help....his safety may depend on it.  Good luck!

kcook55
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:52 AM

dd is scared to death of cops since her preschool told her if she didnt behave she was going to go to kid jail. I explained several times there isnt a kid jail they were lying to her. than last week someone called the cops on ds cus he was hanging out the upstairs window. dd who is now 6 was scared to death that the cop was going to take her to kid jail i was at work when this happened.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:53 AM
I know. Like i said, some are bad... but to freak out bc he sees one on the highway looking for speeders, or one pulls up behind us when we're driving... it just doesn't sit right with me. Like kid, the more you look behind us at that cop, the more suspicious you're acting, which might make them think you're in danger and you need help.

We live a block away from the station so there are always officers around. he'll give himself a heart attack before he even starts driving!

Quoting Clarkfa: I don't trust cops, simply because I've done nothing wrong and they're still assholes
TisHerself
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:57 AM

Is there a Dare officer at his school that you can talk with? Maybe a little one-on-one time with an officer will change his mind. 

And as the other have stated, you don't need to go into every detail about BDs criminal history, but you can affirm to your son that they only send people to jail when they've broken the law. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)