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am I wrong for feeling this way .....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies

My husband and I have only been married 20 months and been together 5 yrs. 

About 6mths after we started dating his daughter started to not like me. She was 17 at the time. It got pretty bad for awhile to the point that I almost didn't marry him.. but my mom told me to not let his now grown child dictate my happiness

She didn't go to our wedding and has not included us in her life. I tried many, many times but after awhile I just gave up 
She had a baby. My husband has seen the baby once and that was only because I was out of town for a few days so she invited him over (I think because she felt safe knowing I was out of town)

Today my husband went to his grand daughters baptismal and didn't invite me. I am a little hurt about this. I don't know if I should say something or not
... I feel like I am being shut out of these happy moments by his daughter and he is allowing it .. it is them against me

My husband and I have talked about her and all he ever says is she will come around .... I don't think she ever will. 

Am I wrong for feeling the way I am feeling? 

I don't want to be that wife.... 

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Have you sat her down and ask what the problem is? Your husband needs to stand up for you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WaffleHead
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this
No, she is old enough to not act like a brat. She KNOWS what she is doing
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:28 PM
Let him see the grandbaby, don't put him in the position to choose
RobJar
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:28 PM
You can't expect him to not be a part of his grown daughter life if your not a part of it. Be supportive of the relationship he does have, and with time...maybe many years, but with time she will come around.
ff-princess
by Ruby Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:29 PM

I think you married him knowing how things would be with his daughter, and you really don't have room to be upset about it now.

as for him going without you, I'm sure she's made that a condition of their relationship.  and frankly, if the only way I was allowed to see my grandchild was to make my husband stay behind, he would have to deal with having his feelings hurt on those occasions.  I would not give up the opportunity based on that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:33 PM

please dont misunderstand me. I am supportive and want him to have a relationship with the both of them. I just would have liked to have been invited.. it would have been nice for him to say to her that he is bringing his wife. 

This is suppose to be our life together  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:34 PM

if she has made that a "condition" don't you think he should have told me so him and I could have worked that out together? 
I think I should have had a say if I wanted to marry a man who's daughter puts that sort of condition on him and he allows it  

Quoting ff-princess:

I think you married him knowing how things would be with his daughter, and you really don't have room to be upset about it now.

as for him going without you, I'm sure she's made that a condition of their relationship.  and frankly, if the only way I was allowed to see my grandchild was to make my husband stay behind, he would have to deal with having his feelings hurt on those occasions.  I would not give up the opportunity based on that.


sam12796
by Ruby Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:36 PM
I understand your hurt feelings. His daughter is acting hurtful and you do not know why. Unfortunately this is going to continue. She is acting childish for unknown reasons although to her they make perfect sense. I hope things change.
Lilith23
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:41 PM
My step mother could have written this about me, minus the whole almost not getting married.

For me i just don't want her in my life, like at all. I mean, i have my mom and she's my father's wife. Has never been more than just his wife to me.
I don't want her meeting my kids or spending time with me because she's not family.
She's a nice lady, nice children but so are a lot of people.
If you really want to, you can message her, or ask your dh to invites her over and talk it out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:49 PM

I tried many times to figure out what I did wrong. The truth is, I did nothing wrong... if I could figure it out I would love to apologize 
I have asked her but she has no real reponse. She wont talk to me on the phone.. but she will reply to texts 

Quoting sam12796: I understand your hurt feelings. His daughter is acting hurtful and you do not know why. Unfortunately this is going to continue. She is acting childish for unknown reasons although to her they make perfect sense. I hope things change.


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