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What would you do? *Religion/church related questions*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

We are not a religious family. My husband was raised Catholic and still believes in most of what he was taught but does not believe in the church. I am not religious at all and do not go to church for my own personal reasons.

I have a 6 year old who is very curious about religion. She talks about God and things that we never talk about in our home. I have no idea where she gets her information, especially since she has beeen talking about God since she was 2. It's not a recent thing. My husband doesn't feel comfortable taking to her about his religious beliefs because he no longer goes to church and kind of feels like he has failed his religion so he's the wrong person to talk to her about it. I have a very basic knowledge of religion in general but she's now asking questions that I don't know how to answer because I'm unsure of what exactly I believe. 

Lately she's been asking to go to church. My husband doesn't want to take her for his own reasons and I have never believed in any church. Church and organized religion are the main reasons I tend to stay away from any general religion to begin with. But it's so hard to tell my baby no so I feel like I should take her to church even though it's not something I'm comfortable with. There is a nondenominational church in our area that is supposed to be really good. I just have to work up the nerve to go.

So I guess my question is this: If I take her to this church would it be considered impolite of me since I don't believe in church? Is this something I should approach the preacher about? Should I contact him before we go and explain the situation? I'm at a total loss here. I haven't been to church since I was a child and I have no idea what is considered proper church etiquette or if there is a certain way to handle these things. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alexsmomaubrys2
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:48 PM
I wouldn't take her until she is ok enough to use her critical thinking skills and not believe everything she is told, around 12-13 years old. In the mean time you can buy her books on different religions for her to study, there are a lot of ones for her age group.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:55 PM

If she hadn't asked to go I wouldn't even be considering it but she is asking. I don't think I would send her to a sunday school setting where I can't monitor what she's being told but maybe to a few services where she can get some info and we can talk about it together afterwards. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: I wouldn't take her until she is ok enough to use her critical thinking skills and not believe everything she is told, around 12-13 years old. In the mean time you can buy her books on different religions for her to study, there are a lot of ones for her age group.


JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:58 PM

Do you have any family members that attend church that she can go with?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:03 PM
First, the fact that you are even willing to walk in the doors shows volumes of how much you care for your child. Good for you!

You dont need to say anything at all to anyone when you go as far as why your there or what you believe. It wont be rude or impolite at all. And this is coming from someone who grew up in church. Lol. Just go. You could also get her a children's firsr Bible that has pictures and is written to where she could read it.
alexsmomaubrys2
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:07 PM

If you choose to take her find a friend that goes to a church regularly that you can find out what the message they are preaching is before taking her. You need to carefully control what she is exposed to at her age. 

My DD is 8 years old and has asked a lot to go to church with friends and the answer is always "no" until she is older and can really think for herself. (We are atheists)

Quoting Anonymous:

If she hadn't asked to go I wouldn't even be considering it but she is asking. I don't think I would send her to a sunday school setting where I can't monitor what she's being told but maybe to a few services where she can get some info and we can talk about it together afterwards. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: I wouldn't take her until she is ok enough to use her critical thinking skills and not believe everything she is told, around 12-13 years old. In the mean time you can buy her books on different religions for her to study, there are a lot of ones for her age group.



Mom100WV
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:07 PM

You should approach her questions about religion with an open mind and even tell her that you don't know the answers to some of her questions.  I think taking her to the nondenominational church is an excellent idea--not so much for the religious aspect of it, but because it promotes learning and exploration.  There's no need to contact the preacher, unless you just want to in order to ask him questions--but then you have to be prepared to receive answers you may or may not like. 

Considering that you are not a particularly religious person, I'd suggest learning about the three main Western religions and teaching your daughter about each of them.  That includes Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.  The most beneficial aspect of learning about all three, besides extinguishing the basic ignorance that follows each, is that all three are highly connected to each other.  Christianity evolved from the Jews, and Muslims evolved from both Christians and Jews.  It's really fascinating and really beautiful.  I can recommend some books if you're interested, but either way, I think showing your daughter an open-minded, fearless, and respectful approach to religion is the main thing.

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:09 PM

No, they will be happy that you brought her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:11 PM

I don't. My family doesn't go to church and even if they did I wouldn't trust them with my dog, much less my kid. My mother in law was actually a nun for 7 years before she left the convent but now she is a non-believer. My father in law still goes to church services regularly but he's in a nursing home and goes on the homes bus. My husband has numerous aunts and uncles and cousins that go to church but he's not close to any of them. 

Quoting JulyBabies:

Do you have any family members that attend church that she can go with?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:14 PM

I've always said that I was going to learn more about different religions but I never know where to start so some book reccommendations would be great. Thank you.

Quoting Mom100WV:

You should approach her questions about religion with an open mind and even tell her that you don't know the answers to some of her questions.  I think taking her to the nondenominational church is an excellent idea--not so much for the religious aspect of it, but because it promotes learning and exploration.  There's no need to contact the preacher, unless you just want to in order to ask him questions--but then you have to be prepared to receive answers you may or may not like. 

Considering that you are not a particularly religious person, I'd suggest learning about the three main Western religions and teaching your daughter about each of them.  That includes Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.  The most beneficial aspect of learning about all three, besides extinguishing the basic ignorance that follows each, is that all three are highly connected to each other.  Christianity evolved from the Jews, and Muslims evolved from both Christians and Jews.  It's really fascinating and really beautiful.  I can recommend some books if you're interested, but either way, I think showing your daughter an open-minded, fearless, and respectful approach to religion is the main thing.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 5:26 PM

What about taking her to a childrens church program instead of the actual church service since she will be able to ask questions age-appropriate. There are lots of different church services online so you would not have to go in the church. There are also kids bible study videos she could watch to learn more. 

Quoting Anonymous:

We are not a religious family. My husband was raised Catholic and still believes in most of what he was taught but does not believe in the church. I am not religious at all and do not go to church for my own personal reasons.

I have a 6 year old who is very curious about religion. She talks about God and things that we never talk about in our home. I have no idea where she gets her information, especially since she has beeen talking about God since she was 2. It's not a recent thing. My husband doesn't feel comfortable taking to her about his religious beliefs because he no longer goes to church and kind of feels like he has failed his religion so he's the wrong person to talk to her about it. I have a very basic knowledge of religion in general but she's now asking questions that I don't know how to answer because I'm unsure of what exactly I believe. 

Lately she's been asking to go to church. My husband doesn't want to take her for his own reasons and I have never believed in any church. Church and organized religion are the main reasons I tend to stay away from any general religion to begin with. But it's so hard to tell my baby no so I feel like I should take her to church even though it's not something I'm comfortable with. There is a nondenominational church in our area that is supposed to be really good. I just have to work up the nerve to go.

So I guess my question is this: If I take her to this church would it be considered impolite of me since I don't believe in church? Is this something I should approach the preacher about? Should I contact him before we go and explain the situation? I'm at a total loss here. I haven't been to church since I was a child and I have no idea what is considered proper church etiquette or if there is a certain way to handle these things. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.


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