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I feel empty...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
DH and I have 4 children. We both wanted a big family. We had discussed 6 as our ideal number. Well, once we got pregnant with number 4 the discussion came up about being done after 4. (One of those, we both thought of it but felt guilty raining on the others parade, kind of moments). So we both agreed that I would get a tubal ligation done, and so it was on May 28. We both agreed that this was what was best for my health and as a piece of mind (I have a heart condition that was severely aggravated by my last pregnancy).
Last night we were talking and I mentioned to DH that I was upset at the prospect of not having any more children and he agreed that I bothers him sometimes. He then followed it with he would rather have his wife and his 4 beautiful children, then 6 children and no wife. I love the fact that he doesn't blame me, but the last 6 years of my life has been spent either pregnant, breast feeding, or planning our next child. I don't know where to go from here. I feel empty.
Is this a normal response to having a tubal or did I make the wrong decision?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Now you move onto just enjoying your 4 children. Watch them grow, take them places, experience life with them. ;)

sarbear8508
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
((Hugs)) The response your dh made was so nice. And I couldn't say for sure but I think it's normal hun. You just need time to readjust. Maybe set extra special time to do fun activities with your babies now.
Smh77
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:21 PM
I think its probably normal. I mean, you've drastically changed your plans for life..... That can be hard to get your heart to understand. Look at it this way, it'll be much easier to buy 4 kids cars, send to college, and enjoy than it will be 6! There is a reason for everything, just give yourself a while to get used to it. You will both prob be happy with your 4 healthy babies being all, very soon!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:24 PM
It's understandable to be upset. Honestly you need to move on and get back to your relationship with your husband. If you focus just on your children or making them you'll lose your relationship by the time it's just you two. It'll be hard but be happy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:35 PM
Thanks for the replies. It's just weird that when our baby grows out of his clothes, there won't be another to fill them. I'm sure I'll get used to it, I'm just having a really hard time with it now and hope the regret I'm feeling right now passes someday.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:38 PM

Hugs mama. Yes I think it's normal to feel like you do. We all have plans, sometimes they change and there's nothing we can do about it. 

Missdameanor
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:42 PM
I wanted 3 or 4 children. After giving birth to my daughter, I found out I would have to have a radical hysterectomy. I do understand how you feel. I have just always looked at it as a gift...I was so fortunate to have been able to have her before the cancer came. I feel content with the one child ;)
Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:44 PM
I think it's normal.

I feel that way after all big changes. Leaving high school was a big one. I was happy, but I felt weird and empty at the same time.

I think for some people that change is hard. It takes some getting use to.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:48 PM
I wanted 6 and settled for 5. Most of the time I'm happy, but every now and then, I regret not having #6. However, that feeling passes quickly enough and I'm happy to be moving on with my career. I've been at home with babies full time for 15 years. It's time.
R00k
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:51 PM
You are not alone.
You can know it was the best decision but still wish it wasn't so. But it gets better.
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