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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I just want this to be a dream. Update! ETA. UPDATE2!update 3

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:46 AM
  • 253 Replies
4 moms liked this
I feel like I'm living a nightmare and can't wake up. Yesterday I was per the moon because I was going to find out baby's gender. I found out I'm having a boy, his name is Lucas. I also found out Lucas has a less than 1% chance at survival. This weekend I will deliver and say goodbye to my baby boy at the same time. I want to cuss and scream but it's pointless. I feel lost and defeated and just want to wake up from this. Lucas has severe kidney damage and if he miraculously survived he would immediately go on dialysis and the transplant list. This isn't fucking fair!



I'll be induced Saturday at 730 am. The dr is going to redo the ultrasound to make sure there is no change. Dh went to the funeral home today and set up arrangements for a memorial and to have Lucas cremated. We picked out a beautiful urn and will have a photographer do pictures for us after Lucas is born. It still feels like a dream, like I'll wake up and this will all be some horrible joke. My friend megan, aka Aslen, has been amazing through this. She set up the photographer and called funeral homes for us to make the process easier.


ETA thank you ladies for your support. I haven't really replied much because I've been busy with the kids. I hope you all have an amazing 4th of July and hug your babies tight.


Update2: when the doctor did the ultrasound it showed that Lucas had a small amount of fluid around his face. Hooefully this means his lungs will not be as bad a first thought. He is going to schedule me for a bladder tap on Tuesday and Thursday and if his kidney damage is not too severe we will go to Charlotte to have a valve put in. Keep your fingers crossed for good news ladies!

Update 3/ We found out Thursday that his kidneys are pretty much shot, they're estimating less than 5% function, his chest is about 1/3 the size it should be so he has severly underdeveloped lungs. Also, he's only measuring at 18 weeks when I'm actually 22 week. We were denied the bladder valve(shunt). We decided not to intervene an let the pregnancy continue/end naturally.
by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
flcowgrl23
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:47 AM
Oh honey I'm so sorry!
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Courtney_Renee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:48 AM
I'm so sorry momma!!!
Distortia
by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:48 AM

OMG :( I'm so, so sorry :(

FireMoonGypsy
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:49 AM

There are no words. I'm so sorry. 

EAzizM
by Erica on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:49 AM
:( I am so sorry. Hugs
melodyhour
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:52 AM
3 moms liked this
So sorry. :( if you want to scream and cuss then do that. Your feelings are not pointless. One day at a time mama.
lanes_mom0109
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:56 AM
It's just not fair. I saw his heartbeat and I still feel his kicks. I want my baby! Why am I having to plan to out my baby to rest instead of meeting his siblings?

Quoting melodyhour: So sorry. :( if you want to scream and cuss then do that. Your feelings are not pointless. One day at a time mama.
CheesyKitty
by Cm Addict on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:57 AM
I'm so sorry.
Chandra314
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM
Oh, honey.
I have absolutely no idea what type of pain it is that you are going through--but I am deeply sorry. You will be in my most positive and sincerest of thoughts.


"Let yourself be silently drawn
By the strange pull
Of what you really love.
It will not lead you astray."
--Rumi
ditsyjo
by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry I'll be hoping and praying he's in that 1 %
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