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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why do women create artificial deadlines for their children?

Posted by on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:34 AM
  • 422 Replies
58 moms liked this

I see it on here all the time.  Kid must be off a paci by X.  Off a bottle by Y.  If your kid isn't completely toilet trained by Z you are a failed parent.  Better give up that security blanket or stuffed toy by A!!!!

I am not talking about true developmental milestones like grasping, sitting, walking, crawling, talking.  But the artificial things we pretend mark "advanced" children or "good" parenting.

Personally, I have never seen a preteen, teen, or adult (and I have been through 4 children so I have seen a lot of kids at these ages) still on a paci, or in a diaper, or drinking from a sippy cup, or carrying around a stuffed toy.

And I DO NOT see the big deal if a kid still has a paci at 3.  Or likes a bottle at night.  Whatever.

Should we challenge our kids to progress and push them along?  Absolutely.  Its our job to coax them through their childhood.  But the judgement that goes along with a kid not reaching a made-up milestone by a certain age makes NO sense to me.

We have enough to worry about as parents.  Why add this to the pile?  The kid with a bottle at night will be fine, and you are no better than the mother that allows him to do that because you decided to stop the bottle despite what your child wanted at 18 months.

EDIT for those missing the point.  The point was you don't get a gold star for breaking a child of a paci at 1 instead of two.  Or toilet training at 2 instead of three.  These are artificial goals we impose on ourselves for no reason.  And artificial goals we judge other parents by.  And they mean NOTHING.



by on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sandra_t00
by ChaChi on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:36 AM
26 moms liked this
Yea, I was like that with my first lol. I tried to follow the "rules" to a T. Then my kid grew up and I had another. I was like fuck this. Whatever gets my kids to sleep, shit, I'm all for it
LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree
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OMGLasersPOWPOW
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:37 AM
3 moms liked this
Because of the judgemental parents in the world. You're on CM, you should know about this. Lol
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:37 AM

I dont know. I did want my babies off of a bottle by 12 months, but it ended up being 14 for one and 17 for the other. 

MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Eh, I like to have goals.
The only one I have really is potty training by two and nursing until the minimum of age 2.
I was anti paci, but DS took one because he wa starting to suck his thumb. He have it up at 8 months on his own, but if he hadnt it would have been gone at one.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:39 AM
27 moms liked this
Kids that have take the paci out to ask for their diaper to be changed look ridiculous. That is all.
NiamhWitch
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:40 AM
2 moms liked this
It's a societal thing.
Outspoken.Mime
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:40 AM

What do these goals accomplish?  I understand toilet training to a point because having a kid tied to diapers is very inconvenient.

But the other things?  What does achieving the goal even mean?

Quoting MIA0223: Eh, I like to have goals. The only one I have really is potty training by two and nursing until the minimum of age 2. I was anti paci, but DS took one because he wa starting to suck his thumb. He have it up at 8 months on his own, but if he hadnt it would have been gone at one.


Foolynroo2
by Ruby Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:40 AM
5 moms liked this

Because everyone wants to be the best mom ever and they think those things judge your parenting skills and often they forget about the important parts of parenting.


Outspoken.Mime
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

To whom?  Someone who is not their parent?  Who cares?

Quoting Anonymous: Kids that have take the paci out to ask for their diaper to be changed look ridiculous. That is all.


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