Why do women create artificial deadlines for their children?
I see it on here all the time. Kid must be off a paci by X. Off a bottle by Y. If your kid isn't completely toilet trained by Z you are a failed parent. Better give up that security blanket or stuffed toy by A!!!!
I am not talking about true developmental milestones like grasping, sitting, walking, crawling, talking. But the artificial things we pretend mark "advanced" children or "good" parenting.
Personally, I have never seen a preteen, teen, or adult (and I have been through 4 children so I have seen a lot of kids at these ages) still on a paci, or in a diaper, or drinking from a sippy cup, or carrying around a stuffed toy.
And I DO NOT see the big deal if a kid still has a paci at 3. Or likes a bottle at night. Whatever.
Should we challenge our kids to progress and push them along? Absolutely. Its our job to coax them through their childhood. But the judgement that goes along with a kid not reaching a made-up milestone by a certain age makes NO sense to me.
We have enough to worry about as parents. Why add this to the pile? The kid with a bottle at night will be fine, and you are no better than the mother that allows him to do that because you decided to stop the bottle despite what your child wanted at 18 months.
EDIT for those missing the point. The point was you don't get a gold star for breaking a child of a paci at 1 instead of two. Or toilet training at 2 instead of three. These are artificial goals we impose on ourselves for no reason. And artificial goals we judge other parents by. And they mean NOTHING.