Every Saturday morning, I can count on answering my doorbell to find a couple of atheists on my porch. They’ve ignored my “No Soliciting” sign and they’re dressed in fancy suits, as if to prove that they are richer and better than I am. They’re holding copies of their not-holy works - The God Delusion, Why Evolution Is True and DVD copies of Bill Maher’s Religulous. The want to lecture me about their nonbelief and would talk for hours if I didn’t slam the door in their faces. When I figure it’s safe to go out, in front of my door I find a pile of those hateful little atheist comic books based on the writings of people like Richard Dawkins, P.Z. Meyers, Jerry Coyne and Greta Christina.
Then on Sundays, I can’t sleep in because the atheist meeting hall in the next block rings its bells to summon the unfaithful to their gatherings. Why do they have to be so noisy? I just want to be able to get a few extra hours of shut-eye at least one day a week. I really resent all the tax breaks nontheist groups take advantage of, and how they use the money to buy political favoritism from greedy politicians . A bunch of flippin’ hypocrites, if you ask me.
And now the Supreme Court has ruled that atheist employers can force their female employees to use birth control, have abortions and receive the same pay as their male co-workers. They just don’t seem to get the idea that women are inferior creations and not entitled to equality. The nest thing you know, atheists will be insisting that everybody get divorced so they can marry same-sex partners and require teaching evolution and climate change as facts.
There’s the picketing at military funerals by free thinkers, which pisses me off as much as anything I’ve mentioned so far. Just who do these people think they are and why do they hate our country so much? I figure they probably hate it because God made America the great place it is and that’s intolerable to them.
It’s not just weekends that are a problem. On any given day when I go downtown, there never fails to be a street corner with some atheist shouting nonbeliever nonsense into a megaphone. Where do they get off telling me I’m not going to hell, that I should enjoy the only life I have, love whomever I want and to be nice to other people, not out of fear, but because it’s the right thing to do?
That’s why I hate atheists – they’re just too damned pushy for their own good (and good is something they don’t have), always telling me what not to believe. Yeah, I wish all those people would just shut up and go away.