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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Slowly forcing moms to stay home with their infants?

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:46 AM
  • 366 Replies
2 moms liked this

I got in a conversation with my daycare provider last night when I picked up my kids.  We were talking about the rules for in-home daycare providers and how they keep getting more and more strict on the rules for infants.

For example, a few years ago our county made a new rule for licensed providers that when you put an infant down for a nap, they cannot have anything in the crib with them.  No blankie.  No stuffed animal.  No nothing.  Not even if the parents are willing to sign off and say it's ok to do with their child.  Still can't.  At the time, my DCP had her first grandson and was watching him along with the other daycare kids.  He would not sleep at all unless he had his little blankie with him.  The parents wanted him to have his blankie.  He was the DCP's own grandson.  But still, since it was during her daycare hours she couldn't do it.  If her licensor walked in and saw the child asleep with a blankie, she would get written up and could lose her license.  This is all effective up to 12 months of age.

Now she is telling me that there are more rules about how a baby sleeps.  (I can't remember if she said these are already in effect or soon will be).  Up to 12 months of age, the baby has to be sleeping in a crib or pack n play, with nothing in there, on it's back.  If baby rolls, the DCP is to roll baby back onto it's back.  DCP is supposed to physically go in and check on baby every 15 minutes.  If baby falls asleep elsewhere (such as in DCP's arms) then baby is to be immediately placed into the crib or pack n play.  If baby arrives in an infant carrier car seat asleep in the car seat, DCP must immediately remove baby and place baby in the crib or pack n play.  Remember, this is all in effect up to 12 months of age.

My daycare provider said she is *this* close to not accepting infants anymore.  She said she knows other in home providers who are leaning the same way.  They make it soooooo difficult for these providers to care for infants up to 12 months of age with these rules in the name of safety.  My DCP said soon no one will be taking infants anymore and mothers will be forced to stay home for the first year.  (This is where my title question comes from).  I don't know how it is in daycare centers but I can't believe their rules are any more relaxed.  Who are all these rules helping?  It doesn't help the daycare provider if she has infants that are tired but can't/won't sleep based on the rules.  It doesn't help the parents who come at the end of the day and pick up a cranky, overtired little baby.  Who exactly is it helping?  And are we starting down a road where parents will have to stay home for the first year because if, God forbid, something happens to the baby under anyone else's care then it becomes a litigious nightmare?

I want to add that supposedly the newest rules come from an incident that happened in my town.  A grandmother was caring for her infant grandchild.  The baby fell asleep in her arms in an upright position (head on grandma's shoulder).  Grandma fell asleep on the rocker with baby in that position.  When grandma woke up, baby had suffocated against grandma's shoulder.  Because of this incident, the authorities decided to add more rules for licensed daycare providers even though this incident had nothing to do with daycare.  Grandma was not acting as a licensed provider at all.  Grandma was just acting as a grandma.

by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LoveMyBug2013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:48 AM
1 mom liked this

So parents have to stay home for 52 weeks, but each parent only gets 12 weeks off of work, so that's 24 weeks.  Nope, no problem there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:49 AM
15 moms liked this

I don't understand why someone doesn't want to stay home with their infant...

Guess people will have to actually think about getting pregnant now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:52 AM
6 moms liked this

Thank a helicopter parent.  This is why among other things we need to stop them from taking over society and demand less legislation and that they can't justify their irrantionality on the rest of us by trying to use the law to normalize their helicopter parenting ways.   

EarlGrayHot
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Well duh!  Most parents cannot afford to skip work for an entire year and have to return to work.  And that is their decision to make. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:58 AM
17 moms liked this
In other countries, moms get years of paid maternity leave. I'd be alright with that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:58 AM
21 moms liked this
Most people want to, but it isn't an option because they have to go to work. What a rude statement.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't understand why someone doesn't want to stay home with their infant...

Guess people will have to actually think about getting pregnant now.

Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:59 AM
6 moms liked this

That's the thing.  I wouldn't have minded staying home longer than 12 weeks with my babies, but I would've needed the maternity leave support to do so.  It would have been harming the entire family, including the kids, if I had lost my job over it.

If we want moms to stay home longer with their infants then we need to start with improving maternity leave policies.

Quoting LoveMyBug2013:

So parents have to stay home for 52 weeks, but each parent only gets 12 weeks off of work, so that's 24 weeks.  Nope, no problem there.


karrahM
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:59 AM
12 moms liked this

Really? Helicopter parenting of an infant? Isn't that just parenting? Maybe just maybe infants weren't met to be "watched" as a herd. Seriously, it is a baby. You can't stay home while their infants? This is the dumbest post I have read on here, which says a lot! Griping that regulations for watching INFANTS are too safe! Agree with above post- maybe people will think about having kids then.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank a helicopter parent.  This is why among other things we need to stop them from taking over society and demand less legislation and that they can't justify their irrantionality on the rest of us by trying to use the law to normal their helicopter parenting ways.   


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:59 AM
4 moms liked this
That all doesn't sound that difficult to me. It's common sense a lot of it. Also, not everyone uses a daycare center, there are also private sitters, family, etc. So no, mothers are not slowly being forced into staying home.
Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:59 AM
3 moms liked this

Considering how sue-happy we have gotten, I can understand why they need rules like that. A lawsuit over something fucking stupid isn't exactly unheard of in this day and age. 

With that in mind, I can also understand why a daycare provider would choose to not accept infants. It just prevents a lot of headache.

All that being said, if I had a baby, I personally would turn heaven and hell and pay whatever it takes to find someone who would take my infant. Missing a year of work would not even be an option I'd consider. 

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