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Should SAHM have a say in...EDIT

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Having more kids?

Say the couple has one child. How much say does the sahm have over having another. Seeing as she isn't financially contributing.

Just a discussion a couple friends and I were having yesterday. I'm sure someone will find a way to start shit, but I'm interested what you all think.

This came up because a girlfriend of mine is a sahm who wants another child. Her husband says he doesn't. Doesn't want the financial burden despite being able to afford it. So hence, she doesn't contribute, she doesn't get a say.
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 11:25 AM
Replies (321-330):
ctsgirl
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:58 PM

Wow!!! She doesnt contribute.  I would love to see him stay at home with a child all day.  By being a stay at mom she saves the home expenses such as childcare which is a huge expense.  However I believe both individuals should be on the same page in terms of how many children they should have.  She most certainly has a say in the amount of children she wants because she is carrying the child plus I am sure she takes good care of her husband as well.  SAHM is a 24 hour job and not an easy one. 

pm4k
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 8:59 PM

SAHMs contribute by taking care of the kids, cleaning house, cooking, carpooling, homework and the list goes on and on. If the working parent had to pay for all these services, he would need an extra job. SAHM have a say in everything that goes on in that marriage. They may not bring money in....but they put in more than enough in other areas.

I am a work outside the home mom....but I would expect a say in anything that happens in our marriage--whether it be more kids, spending money...anything.

Blessedlife79
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:00 PM

Yea is this a serious question??? What stupidity. SAHM's have just as much say as any other mom or dad. SMH.

Debisevil
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:00 PM
When I stayed at home my husband said I had the most valuable and important job. I would be pissy if I married an ass like that. I'm glad I have a supportive husband.
star33
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

 i don't blame the dh. if he's the only 1 making $, why should he be put under more pressure? that will only hurt their marriage in the long run.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:01 PM


Quoting ZombieMeat37:

She has just as much say as he does.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 55 on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:03 PM

Yes, of course she has a say! I was a SAHM whom had five kids in the 16 years I stayed home. 

jen291985
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:07 PM

Oh look, another idiot on cafe mom....shocking. 

adoption2013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:12 PM

She does contribute to the welfare of the family.  I am a lawyer and I work hard at home as well as the office.  His attitude that she does nothing would get him reamed out by most judges.  This sort of attitude is indicative of possible financial abuse.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 56 on Jul. 8, 2014 at 9:12 PM
But you ain't paying for that child. Partnership or not, kids cost.

Quoting Anonymous:

My job or lack thereof doesn't define me, my husband and I are equals in every sense of the word. We're a family unit, a team, and we work together as such. If I wanted more children I would bring the topic up to him and we'd discuss it.

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