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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Help Settle a Financial Debate **Edit

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 196 Replies

Not married. Long term relationship. Kids with each other only. No plans to go separate ways.

SO does not allow me to have bank access. I have a sharedccredit card. Not allowed to look at the bank account. Not given my own bank card.

His reasons are that I do not make money, don't pay bills (his are laid out electronically and set up easily) and have no need to have access to our money. I disagree. I cannot get cash out if need be. I have no idea how much bills cost and what is paid. We talk about money when we spend anything, on both his side and mine.

Do you think it's disrespectful of him not to allow me access to our family funds? Or is he right to keep family financial information to himself?



ETA: He wants to know why I should have access to the bank account. He does not get it.

ETA 2: He says he's hurt by what you're saying. He isn't controlling at all (he isn't except for this. I spend our money and make almost all non-bill purchases). He says that you all have trust issues because you don't agree with him. He said I because I am a SAHM and he helps around the house I shouldn't have access, dishes, dinner, bathing the kids, etc. (That's a new thing for me until tonight)


ETA 3: He added me to the bank account.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:52 PM

Bump

shadowcat76
by Platinum Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:52 PM
That seems really controlling. It wouldn't work in my house that's for sure!
WaffleHead
by on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:52 PM
3 moms liked this
You aren't married. Why stay with someone ling enough to get financially involved without getting married
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:53 PM

I wouldn't be ok with it. Every family runs differently though...

ame85
by Chemistry cat on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:53 PM
3 moms liked this
That is what we call a red flag. Good thing you're not married. No divorce, just part ways.
corticosteroid
by Ruby Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:53 PM

You should have bank access.  He's being ridiculous.  You should know how much the bills are, what comes in and what's going out.

MommyO2-6631
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM
2 moms liked this
Well you aren't married...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM

Very disrespectful. And shitty.

SusanD
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM
Personally I'd either get a job, or leave. I think that it is controlling, but you can easily solve it.
JerseyAirGurl
by *Ada* on Jul. 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM
Sounds super controlling ... what the hell do you do if he kicks the bucket or gets ill... how are you suppose to handle the family assets?
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