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help: pregnant and dh just...ugh...GRR!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 64 Replies
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I'm in that nauseous and fatigued stage in pregnancy, second month in my first trimester. I have fallen behind a little on housework (clean laundry piled on couch, sink full of rinsed dishes ready for dishwasher, and the toys my dd has left out...scattered).
Lately it seems he's been pushing me away...he asked if I was depressed and some how it turned in to basically me finding out he doesn't like me like this, I feel it's the reason it's pushing him away and when I suggested maybe I should go stay with my family in another state and give him some space. He didn't like that...we ended up getting mad and when he asked why I said because I didn't want to push him away since he hates me like "this". My first pregnancy was not like this, it was easy...
He sucks at communication and i feel I'm just giving up. I haven't asked for help, he once said in another argument "it's my job" (housework)...I just can't find the motivation to do anything when I just want to sleep and puke my guts out ALL DAY LONG. any advice for him or me? Just looking for some outside the box thinking here since I just feel irritated abd so run down.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:23 AM
Sorry, I meant to say that he said housework was MY job
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:24 AM
He sounds like an ass...and yet you're having more kids with him...some women never learn.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2014 at 2:25 AM
Can't judge him on this one incident...people get mad and say messed up things...otherwise, he really isn't an ass all the time. But when he it is irritating.

Quoting Anonymous: He sounds like an ass...and yet you're having more kids with him...some women never learn.
Loveavision
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 3:50 AM
2 moms liked this
You've gotta suck it up, buttercup. I know that's going to be an unpopular response. Sorry.
JackieGirl007
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 3:55 AM
3 moms liked this

Just try to remember this is temporary, tell him you NEED his support, and if that doesn't work, tell his mom on him, lol.

handy0318
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 3:58 AM
1 mom liked this

So this other argument when he said the housework was your job... were you pregnant then as well? And, did he actually say he "hates you like this"? And if he did, do you honestly think he was being snitty, or just hating that you're not feeling well. 

Really, when reading through your post... most of this seems to be coming from within you...basically because you feel very crappy (not to mention wonderful pregnancy hormones doing their thing to your emotions)... but not really anything from him, other than him showing concern about you being depressed.

The reason why I asked the question about the housework is because you said his comment was the reason you haven't asked for help... if that's the case, that he said that before you were pregnant.. then by all means ask for help. 

Every pregnancy is different... you are not feeling well with this one. Let him know you need him right now.

BabyPink07
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd go stay with family for a week.
BGarcel
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:05 AM

I agree with this.

Quoting handy0318:

So this other argument when he said the housework was your job... were you pregnant then as well? And, did he actually say he "hates you like this"? And if he did, do you honestly think he was being snitty, or just hating that you're not feeling well. 

Really, when reading through your post... most of this seems to be coming from within you...basically because you feel very crappy (not to mention wonderful pregnancy hormones doing their thing to your emotions)... but not really anything from him, other than him showing concern about you being depressed.

The reason why I asked the question about the housework is because you said his comment was the reason you haven't asked for help... if that's the case, that he said that before you were pregnant.. then by all means ask for help. 

Every pregnancy is different... you are not feeling well with this one. Let him know you need him right now.


Mrs.Pedro
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:06 AM
2 moms liked this
I would tell him to suck it up. Those first few months are typically the hardest(for me anyways), and it won't kill him to either let it be or help you out for a couple months out of his whole life. If it's going to be YOUR JOB, then YOU run the show for chores and do them when YOU feel like. If it's that important that the house is spotless, well then he can help. So my advice is to do them as you feel like doing them, and as your energy comes back and nausea fades then work to be as much like you were as you want to be. It's a couple months of not being spotless... It isn't going to kill anybody.
orngblsm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:07 AM
1 mom liked this

It might be "your" job, but you didn't get in that condition by yourself.  You have another job right now, growing a little one.  You might want to remind him of that.  Or explain that it is like having a bad case of flu for seveal weeks on end.  Ask him for help if you need it.  (Honey, will you please load the dishwasher for me?  I would appreciate it.  This pregnancy is just sapping my energy.)  There is no reason why he can't put dishes in the dishwasher or pick up a few toys.  Depending on DD's age, turn picking them up into a game and have her help a bit. 

Every pregnancy is different.  Your irritation may subside in a few weeks or maybe not.  (My second, I had hormonal rage up to delivery. Not fun for anyone, including me.)  However, if you are having problems keeping things down, you need to call your doctor.  If he is so bad at communication, maybe some counseling is in order or having a doctor explain all the hormonal changes again.  Just be sure that you are drinking plenty of fluids, eating well, and taking your vitamins.  That seemed to help me a bit.  Good luck. 

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