I guess I was wrong. Yesterday, he and my 12 yr old son were riding bikes around the neighborhood and ran into my fiances ex gf in her dads driveway. My ss stopped to talk to her and introduced her to my son as his "stepmom". When my son got confused and asked him if SHE was his stepmom then who am I, he rolled his eyes and said "your mom is just the annoying lady who lives in my house for now. My stepmom will come back and you guys will all go away. You'll see".
My son got mad and came home to talk to me. Then that bitch (ex gf) had the nerve to text my fiance that she had run into the boys and that ss had "introduced her as his stepmom. It was sooo cute". This was yesterday evening and I am still pissed off about it. Not at my fiance. He showed me the text and didnt respond to her at all. But more at my ss and at the situation. Ugh. Every time I think things are looking up, something discouraging happens.
Update: We have established a new set of "house rules" that go for everyone. No disrespect. No talking back. No yelling. No one is required to refer to me as stepmom or my fiance as stepdad but they are allowed to if that is their wish. Otherwise, calling us by name is fine.We established bedtimes across the board ( quiet time begins at 9. All kids not on their teens lights out by 11 since its summer. My 14 yr.old doesnt have a bed time as long as she is quiet and doesnt sleep all day). We also made it the time limits on electronics clear and established a chore list.
My fiance and I discussed the ex gf thing and he agreed to put a stop to his son calling her that. He also Agreed that it would be best to start phasing her out of his sons life bit by bit. No more playdates at her house with the kids. If he really wants to see the boys they can come here without her.
Stepson to be has been a major brat about the rules and the chores so far. Hes basically been refusing to do ANYTHING because he "hates work" and hes been pretty openly rude to me and to my kids. Like to the point that my fiance told me I should smack his face for talking to me that way...but Id never go that far. I dont even spank my own kids.
Meh. We will see what happens. Im not giving up. Im even taking all the kids to the lake tomorrow which is my fiances sons favorite thing to do that doesnt involve something electronic. My fiance will be sleeping because he went back on nights last night. Im hoping maybe his son will loosen up and talk to me about things more at the lake.