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Is it ok to talk to an old boyfriend on Facebook if you were only 14 when you knew each other?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies

I accepted his friend request because I knew him oh so long ago . He was a boyfriend when I was 14-15. I friended him as a friend not because I have plans to be a cheater. In my mind this is a friend thing not boyfriend thing. I mean we were 14 and 15. I'm married and have three kids and he knows this. I can't help but to feel though that he might be talking to me because  he wishes it were something more. He refers to me as sunshine and he told me he really regrets that he let me go. He said he was just really shy and scared that I was bored with him. He was to scared to scared to take it to the next step amd kiss me. he was a quite person, except aound me.  I honestly don't even remember how we broke up,lol so it wasn't some painful break up. I think we still liked each other but were both to shy to speak up. he told me that he always wanted to get me back but I graduated and went into the military and moved away. He thought I would be mad and would never take him back. He said he had always regretted that he didn't say anything before I left. He has seen my recent profile pics and tells me he thinks I'm still beautiful ....(I know , I'm not trying to sound cocky, I just need to explain why I wonder if its ok to talk to him).He also says he's not looking to destroy a happy marriage , that he would never want to do that . In a different conversation he was wondering when I'll be visiting home because he'd love to see me again. As old friends I hope,lol. I 've always felt this closeness to him and now that were talking on facebook its right back to that same closeness. we have good conversation.He is divorced . He said she hurt him bad when she cheated on him which lead to the divorce so now he's single and childless but he wants a family. He says it gets lonely . 

Heres the thing though. Dh and I are having problems. I feel taken for granted and unloved by him. He pays me almost no attention. I try to be a good wife. This old boyfriend pops up on Facebook right when I was really hurting myself because something don't feel right between dh and I  (long story). I find myself loving that my old boyfriend sees in me what my own husband don't seem to see. I love the compliments he gives me(old boyfriend comments) . I love talking to him. i find myself hoping he will message me. I would never cheat on my husband. I love him and never want to hurt him that way. So what I'm worried about is could this turn into an emotional affair rather tha two old friends chatting. We talk about everyday ordinary stuff most of the time. It seems like a fine line between friendship and too much. I wish I didnt enjoy how he made me feel. Its  in sharp contrast to the feelings I'm going through with dh right now. I do love my husband though, very much. I just feel hurt by him right now..What's your opinion? Should I stop talking to the old boyfriend who is niw a friend or just make it clear to him that we are just friends and still stay in touch through Facebook.


Thank you all for taking the time to read my long post and giving advice and opinion. After writing it down, I' 'm sitting here thinking its obvious that this is dangerous territory. I love my husband and never ever want to hurt him like that. It would be hard to explain everything in our marriage that has led me to becoming stupid,lol, without making the post way to long. Anyway thanks for your opinions. It has helped. I think I just needed to get it out in writing and hear other women say what you all have said. I think there is a part of me that knows there are guys out there that would treat me better but there are also thise hat would be worse to. When frustration and hurt overwelm me I long for what I feel is out  there but . I married him. He has a good heart, he just don't have a "soft" nature  which makes life hard because I do have that "soft nature" and crave it from my spouse. I do try to work on our marriage but we still butt heads. It ends up in a fight. I have started to just not even bring any problems up because I dont want to deal with his anger or the horrible fights we have. I know that's not healthy but the fights are even more unhealthy. I feel stuck and he won't go to counseling  but me getting stupid and falling for someone else is still pretty stupid. Got kids to consider to.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 9, 2014 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:04 PM
This is way too long.

If you wouldn't tell your husband about it, then don't do it.
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

emotional cheating is still cheating, just wanting to talk to him in my opinion is crossing that cheating line.. stop talking to him

by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:06 PM

If you're wanting to try to save your marriage, stop talking to your old boyfriend.  Even though you were young there's obviously still some feelings there, especially on his side, and you're veering dangerously close to affair territory.

by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:07 PM
Sounds like you're still stuck in high school. Grow up and don't talk to him.
by Zarah on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:07 PM
I have my teenage ex on there we hardly ever talk though. Dh knows he's on there though.
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:07 PM
If you're married, you have no business talking to someone else online. It destroyed my first marriage.
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:07 PM

If you are asking us because you know your husband would have an issue with it, then you know its wrong.

You are feeling vulnerable. Reevaluate your marriage and what you want from that before you lose it all.

Quoting Anonymous:

emotional cheating is still cheating, just wanting to talk to him in my opinion is crossing that cheating line.. stop talking to him

by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:08 PM
All this for some...
Argh anyways, it's called "block" and fix your marriage.
If your as is scared it will lead to more then don't fucking let temptation in.
Duude???! Be smart,don't think with your vag and lonely feels.
Work on that dammm marriage.
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:08 PM

Slippery Slope.  If you think it is headed towards an emotional affair then you need to STOP NOW.

by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:08 PM
Okay, no.
It would be one thing if you and your husband were in a good place, but you're not. Now is not the time to be dealing with this ex. Let him go and fix your marriage.
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