The man apparently will say 'woman get me a soda' or 'woman make me dinner' and she gets up and does it. He always calls her woman. Never by her name.
She told my fiancé about it today because their 12 year old daughter asked her why she lets the boyfriend talk to her that way.
She said she told their daughter that's what she likes but that doesn't mean she has to want that when she grows up and is in relationships.
What he and I have a problem with is that we think there is more to the story. This man beat her in the past and we think it's more of a controlling thing and of course there isn't much we can do while they are with their mom but what can we do when they are with us to show them that being respectful in a relationship is the right kind of relationship. He also doesn't want his kids to think what their mother is doing is right, he's never been into the submissive wife role.
So what can we do? Obviously that's not how things work in our house and they have to see that but anything else he can say to his daughter or we can do to show her how we feel a relationship is supposed to work?