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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My kids won't call my husband their step dad??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 332 Replies
1 mom liked this
I got married to my husband 2 years ago. My kids were 19, 17, 15 and 14. They have always seemed to resent him and never seemed to like him- I divorced their dad and got remarried quickly, and they hold it against him.

In all these years, they refer to him as "my mom's husband". It's always bothered me, they've just shrugged me getting upset off. Today, my husband was driving by my 16 yo and her friend walking somewhere, she's at her dad's this week. He pulled over to say hi, when the friend asked who he was she said "my moms husband". When the friend asked "oh so your stepdad?" She said "no".

My DH was really upset when he got home :( should I talk to her about this? I don't even know what to say anymore, but it hurts me that it hurts him :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
preemiemom45
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:55 PM
2 moms liked this
When you say you remarried quickly, how quickly was it? Were you with your current husband while still married to their dad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:56 PM
10 moms liked this
It sucks that his feelings were hurt but I always let my kids decide what to call my husband. I know it is hard on them so I just followed their lead. I am sure they know how you feel, I wouldn't mention it to them anymore.
1TallMamaCA
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:56 PM
7 moms liked this
From psychological stand point, forcing them could cause way more issues.

Also they are so close to beig adults , one already is why force it? Do you want to be on here writting a post about your kids disowned over this?

No need at all, lets them be.



Eta... just noticed were in your op.


Um they are adults one is 2 years away from adult. Back off let it be.
twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:56 PM
7 moms liked this
I do the same.
It's nothing against the actual person, it's just what it is.

My dad is my dad. I never needed a "step dad" nor mom
1TallMamaCA
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:57 PM
23 moms liked this
Be happy they call him your husband... they could be calling him way worse.
sweetsouthrnMom
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:57 PM
5 moms liked this

If I was in their shoes, I would become even MORE resentful if that term was forced upon me to use. You cannot force your children- especially older childre, to call your Husband their "Step - Dad." That is more of a term of endearment and they were never accepting, forcing them will only make them more bitter.

Bluerose1482
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:58 PM
5 moms liked this

I'd let them decide for themselves what they want to call him, as long as it was respectful.

TadpoleMomma
by Jelly Bean on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Well, maybe they feel like he's trying to replace their real dad. It's hard. Why don't you ask them? Have a nice sit down with all of them. 

I have a step dad. We do not get along at all. I would only ever call him Dad so he wouldnt yell at me. 

Anyway, just try and have a talk. Keep it nice and simple. Don't get visibly upset. Just try and see this from their point of view. Hear their side of the story. And don't just let it go in one ear and out the other.

kiwiskiwi29
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 10:00 PM


Quoting Bluerose1482:

I'd let them decide for themselves what they want to call him, as long as it was respectful.


Tuned.Out
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 10:01 PM
11 moms liked this

I've never called my mother's husband my "step dad". I was 25 years old when they married, and have been in around the man 5 times in the 25 years they've been married. We live on opposite sides of the country, so we don't really spend much time together.

Asking adult and almost adult children to call a new spouse any form of mom/dad is probably odd to them. Nothing against him as a person I'm sure. It's just odd to some people. I know it is for me.

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