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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Cutting a parent out of your life because they don't accept an adopted child?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 323 Replies
My cousin and her husband recently adopted a little girl who is black. They're white, and the older siblings are 10, 8 and 5. However, my cousins parents are racist and basically told her that while they'll be around her baby, they'll never consider her a grandchild.

My cousin told them to screw off and said they won't be seeing any of their kids. She's kept her word- doesn't answer their calls, doesn't come to family functions where they'll be and doesn't let them see any of the kids. The kids are devastated because they saw their grandparents all the time, and she was honest and told them exactly why- she said "they're bad people who hate your little sister because her skin is darker".

What do you think? Right or wrong of her? I get is, as a mom, but I'm not sure depriving them of their grandparents and telling the kids they're bad people is right either....
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:46 AM
3 moms liked this
I would end contact and not tell the kids why
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:47 AM
13 moms liked this
Accept all my kids or see none of them.

While I'd address it differently with the older kids, I would have no problem cutting off my parent(s) if they were to behave this way.
mandy18192
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, I would do the same.
mysticatgal
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:47 AM
4 moms liked this
I'd probably do the same. It's not fair to the adopted child to be excluded and left out. It's hard for the other kids but I wouldn't want them picking up racist habits either.
Patti-Gee
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this



  Her intended target is not the only one she is hurting.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:48 AM
I would do the same. My ds is biracial and i had do the same. And mine is biological my son.
angelachristine
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:49 AM
I would do the same. They don't deserve to be around any of the kids.
B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:49 AM
9 moms liked this

I would have been more tactful to my kids, but I think your cousin is in the right. Her adopted child is 100% family and anyone who would behave otherwise is not welcome to be around the rest of the family either.

mommy2adandykid
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:50 AM
17 moms liked this

then no, you don't get it.  and unless you were in your cousins position i don't think you'd understand why they're doing the right thing either.  your garbage grandparents don't deserve to see any of those kids and honestly if you don't understand where your cousin is coming from, neither do you.  this is so much more than 'depriving them of their grandkids' smh  good on your cousin for sticking to her guns and sticking up for her child!

ajdahd13
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Right of her. Anyone who treats my child badly will be cut out of my life.
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