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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

MIL/FIL dealbreaker

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Continue relationship with SO

Options:

Yes

No


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Total Votes: 40

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Are bad in-laws a deal breaker? If you meet SO's family and they are horrible would you dump your SO? Like right now possible future MIL is really racist....like extremely so.

* We were having a very pleasant lunch with SO's family when, SO's little brother came in the house with a friend joking about a girl little brother has a crush on in school. We all started teasing him asking for if she's cute, what's her name, etc.. Well his friend whips out a cell phone pic of the girl. SO's little brother freaks and tries to grab the phone. To late mom sees the picture an yell's at the little brother "God D*** can't you like a white one, for once!" 

Yeah it got quite after that. SO  did not say anything about it.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:14 PM
2 moms liked this

You are in a relationship with him, not his parents.  My ILs are awful, I absolutely hate them.  So I never see them.

mhaney03
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

It depends on where in the relationship I am.  Like if we JUST started dating/getting to know each other and his family sucks, I'd totally run in the other direction.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:16 PM

BUMP!

scold-01
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:18 PM

It would depend on how long I had been with SO. Remember, with in-lawa, they get to see the grandchildren....you will have to deal with them until they pass away.....

oliveoil423
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:18 PM
Your in a relationship with him not them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:20 PM
Does he acknowledge the issue or try to excuse it? That would be the deciding factor for me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this
You marry your in-laws too unless your SO absolutely hates them and doesn't associate with them what-so-ever.

I fucking hate my in-laws, but I didn't meet them until a year after we were married. Had I been smart and made it a point to meet them before we got married I probably wouldn't have married my husband. Actually knowing me at 18 I probably would've said I'm marrying him, not them and still be in the same situation I'm in now.
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:22 PM
No, I've never met my bf's parents because they live on another continent. Their english isn't great either so I doubt I'd ever know if they said something mean or offensive lol. When making my pro/con list about this guy, his parents living so far is on the pro side. I had horrible in laws and I don't want to repeat it.
Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes. You are not just marrying the man, you are marrying the family as well, and I never wanted to be the reason that a man felt he had to choose. So if the family was nuts, or even just difficult for me to be around, he got let go.

CrimsonRose01
by ~Cassandra~ on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:23 PM

I don't know, my in-laws are great, so I didn't have the problem. I suppose it would depend on a few things. How long you've been with SO, and if he stands up for you. If he allows them to treat you like crap and says nothing to them, doesn't even attempt to talk to them about it, that would probably be a deal breaker. 

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