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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do you fight?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 86 Replies
Do you ever not bring something up with your DH (or SO) because of fear of the reaction or to keep the peace?

I have a great marriage and we never fight generally.. The exception is if I get upset at something and I voice the opinion he ends up getting upset/angry (well quiet not yelling angry) and I almost feel like I have to be the one apologizing when it was him who made the error.

I think it's because he gets hard on himself and doesn't now how to handle the disappointment of making the error.

Just thoughts please... No bashing if possible.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:56 AM

No, I am not the peacekeeper lol If something is bothering me, I speak up. 

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes it not worth bringing up. Just like when you have kids you pick your battles. You have to learn to let shit go. Yes I have apologized when I really felt he should have first. My husband does the silent treatment , which is worse than yelling.

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:57 AM
I usually stew about it for a long while and then we talk about it. Honestly it seems like every couple of months we sit down to evaluate how things are going and it gets taken care of then. We don't yell or anything like that.
B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:58 AM

We occasionally disagree but the only time we have anything resembling a fight is when I have my uncontrollable mood swings (trying to treat but nothing successful thus far). About one day a month I get completely irrational and while I'm usually aware and control it, I can get a little snippy and then he gets defensive and then I cry. (We've been married four years and the snap-retort-cry thing has happened like three times.)

I'll be very happy when one of the treatments actually works and I can be my normal even-keeled self all the time.

mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:58 AM

I felt that way early in marriage.  I told him that it wasn't fair to me to be so defensive when I had something to say.  DH hates to dissapoint his family.  We've been married 14 years and I tell him when he is being defensive.  He's gotten great about just listening.  I do not hide my emotions well, so I might as well be honest about why I am in a bad mood or upset.  

mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:59 AM


Quoting B1Bomber:

We occasionally disagree but the only time we have anything resembling a fight is when I have my uncontrollable mood swings (trying to treat but nothing successful thus far). About one day a month I get completely irrational and while I'm usually aware and control it, I can get a little snippy and then he gets defensive and then I cry. (We've been married four years and the snap-retort-cry thing has happened like three times.)

I'll be very happy when one of the treatments actually works and I can be my normal even-keeled self all the time.

I'm that way prior to my period.  I take Prozac for PMDD (prescribed for two weeks prior to my period).  Otherwise, I am just out of my mind.  GL to you.

nachobizness
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:59 AM

In the beginning, we both didn't fight "fair". Dh came from a household where the loudest one got heard. So he's a yeller and yelling just makes me go off. So two ppl yelling =nothing getting resolved. We both have simmered down. We've also learned to address issues immediately instead of letting it build up and a blow out fight happens. 

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jul. 14, 2014 at 10:00 AM
I'm usually quick to anger and mouth off then equally quick to apologize and put it behind me. I never stay mad long.

DH is the opposite, he'll stew on something forever.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2014 at 10:01 AM
That makes sense.. I think I probably also have some irrational fears stemming from my first marriage where my husband cheated for 10 years and I had no idea.



Quoting mommytoeandb:

I felt that way early in marriage.  I told him that it wasn't fair to me to be so defensive when I had something to say.  DH hates to dissapoint his family.  We've been married 14 years and I tell him when he is being defensive.  He's gotten great about just listening.  I do not hide my emotions well, so I might as well be honest about why I am in a bad mood or upset.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 14, 2014 at 10:03 AM
I feel for you both. I have some severe medical issues and some if my medication can get wonky and I can feel out of control in my head.

Quoting mommytoeandb:

Quoting B1Bomber:

We occasionally disagree but the only time we have anything resembling a fight is when I have my uncontrollable mood swings (trying to treat but nothing successful thus far). About one day a month I get completely irrational and while I'm usually aware and control it, I can get a little snippy and then he gets defensive and then I cry. (We've been married four years and the snap-retort-cry thing has happened like three times.)

I'll be very happy when one of the treatments actually works and I can be my normal even-keeled self all the time.

I'm that way prior to my period.  I take Prozac for PMDD (prescribed for two weeks prior to my period).  Otherwise, I am just out of my mind.  GL to you.

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