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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

abusive dad still has visitations?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

Wondering if anyone has gone through something similar or has suggestions.

My ex was arrested for beating one of my kids & pleaded guilty in exchange for a very light sentence.

The courts haven't stopped the visits. The court appointed legal guardian would like to push for the ex to have a 2 week vacation with my youngest and continue visits.

My concern is safety, sorry won't be enough if our child is hurt. It's like courts disregard abuse. Yet a mother is interfering with visits?

Abusive parents get multiple chances.

update: my lawyer has filed a motion to stop visits, our court day keeps getting postponed without being heard.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2014 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Verrine
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Supervised visitation would be appropriate. Our county has a building just for that, so it doesn't have to be at anyone's home and the other parent doesn't find out where you live if it's a problem.

No to a 2 week vacation! You think that any adult wouldn't be irritated by any child in 2 weeks? No way would I let my child go for 2 weeks with someone who has already proven himself as abusive. 

Contact DCFS and a lawyer. 

Good luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 11:44 PM
This is why I'm so scared to divorce my husband. I feel like my kids are more protected with me here to protect them.
Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 11:47 PM

My dad was known to beat my brothers and rape my sister and because no one would speak up in court my mom couldn't get visitation stopped or supervised. All he had to do was give my mom 24 hour notice to get me, which he exercised 1-2 Times a year until I cut him out of my life at 13. And was to get a week in summer when I turned 6. I'm 41 and never had that week. 


Polkadotted
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 11:59 PM

This happened to a friend of mine too :(

She got slapped in court for suggesting limiting visitations.

OrangeBalloon
by Platinum Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:28 AM

My mother thought the same way. She was wrong. 

Quoting Anonymous: This is why I'm so scared to divorce my husband. I feel like my kids are more protected with me here to protect them.


OrangeBalloon
by Platinum Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:31 AM

OP you will have to get a lawyer and show them documentation of the abuse. Even if your ex plead guilty, I think that you can still get a restraining order. This should buy you enough time to build a case to keep your child away from him. I have no idea why a judge would allow visitation for an abuser. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:35 AM
I find it hard to believe the court appointed guardian ad litum is pushing for ythe kids to be with him like that.

What does YOUR attorney say? You can also request a new guardian ad litum.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:51 AM

 We were in court today, it has been postponed until August.

The motion to stop visits has not been heard yet, because of the postponements but the judge has it, and still continues the visits.

 We can't replace the guardian as he has not violated his role. He states he 'cant' stop the visits or the vacation, the father wants a vacation with his son.

 

Quoting Anonymous: I find it hard to believe the court appointed guardian ad litum is pushing for ythe kids to be with him like that. What does YOUR attorney say? You can also request a new guardian ad litum.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:53 AM

 thank you

Quoting Polkadotted:

This happened to a friend of mine too :(

She got slapped in court for suggesting limiting visitations.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 15, 2014 at 5:57 AM

 I'm so sorry for what you experienced.

my lawyer has provided examples of the courts not stopping visits even when there has been physical and/or sexual abuse and it is all so overwhelmingly sad. There is no protection of the kids.

Quoting Jamie1972:

My dad was known to beat my brothers and rape my sister and because no one would speak up in court my mom couldn't get visitation stopped or supervised. All he had to do was give my mom 24 hour notice to get me, which he exercised 1-2 Times a year until I cut him out of my life at 13. And was to get a week in summer when I turned 6. I'm 41 and never had that week. 

 

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