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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Pool at MIL's house - how would you feel?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 118 Replies

I'm in need of some serious perspective or at least a venue in which to vent. MIL has complained to DH that I don't let her watch our kids at her home. I mean, I would let my 7 yo but not my 2 yo. The reason? She has a gigantic pool in her backyard that is not fenced. When DS was born years ago, I asked her about putting up a fence to keep DS out (because when he was super little he would go right up to the pool) and she said no because it wouldn't "look right" with her garden design.... So.... I didn't really leave him with her at her home alone until he knew how to swim.


Fast forward to today. She's still peeved that I won't drop the kids off at her house, but she won't come to our house to watch them either. DH says it's because she has a huge house with a huge yard and why would she want to slum it in our teeny tiny 2 bedroom house??


Anyway, I guess I'm just venting, but I really am feeling resentful that DH is pissed at me because I won't do it. Am I being too paranoid here?? I have no qualms about hanging out WITH them at her house, because I'd watch my toddler like a hawk, but I'm not 100% sure MIL would do the same on her own (she is in her 70s and has a HUGE home, lots of places for the kids to explore/get lost in). Plus, if I do go over there to visit, I'm sure she'd just see it as me not trusting her to watch them, when the truth is I trust her fine, I don't trust my TODDLER not to go near the pool, and everyone knows how toddlers tend to wander!!


Sorry, I'm starting to rant and rave. Perspective, please. WWYD?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:40 AM
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I think you are overreacting.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:41 AM
2 moms liked this
Don't blame you. Would feel the same way as well
by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Put a life jacket on him when you drop him off and tell her not to take it off. Lol

I wouldn't be comfortable either. I am a smother mother so even without a pool I didn't trust others. Sorry no insight from me
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Eh, I'd go with your gut feeling on this one.
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this

If your not comfortable then keep doing what your doing.

by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Is it so hard to teach your kid to stay away from the pool rather than have her put up some elaborate fence to keep him out? I mean wouldn't that be the more logical thing to do?
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:47 AM
I have a fenced in pool and I am still paranoid. There are way too many accidental drownings.
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:47 AM
5 moms liked this

Where I live, a fence round the pool is obligatory by law. IT's up to you to find one that fits with your garden design. Actually there IS an option to the fence, you can do without one if you have an alarm on your pool. Would she be prepared to add an alarm to her pool? If not then I would NOT be letting the toddler go. At that age, they just slip into the water and drown without a wave nor a sound.

For extra safety she could also put an alarm on the doors that lead to the pool ... the sooner you're warned the better.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:54 AM

I don't blame you at all. We just had a 2 year drown in our town last week and it was at his own house.  So very sad.   Is there anyway she would be willing to put the door alarms on by chance? I think you can get them at any home improvement stores.  My father has a pool and added theses to the doors. 

Also is there anyway you could get your children into swim lessons? I know that it might be hard for the 2 year old to swim but the 7 year old could.  Both of my children were swimming by 3.  That might help your peace of mind also. 


by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 7:55 AM
3 moms liked this

Normally, I would say you are being overprotective but with there being a pool that isn't fenced in and she's not willing to fence it in, I don't blame you. Where I live, you HAVE to have a fence if you have a pool.  If she really wanted to spend time with the kids, she would A) Fence in her pool and/or B) Watch them at your house. The fact that she is refusing to do either tells me that she doesn't care all that much about spending time with her grandchildren, she would rather play the victim. "My DIL is so mean! She won't let me watch my grandchildren!"

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