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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm Busted

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Yesterday, he had a day off and was moving some things so he could repair the light in our coat closet. I was out running some errands. And as he was shifting things a disposable e-cig fell out of my parka. (Now, I've been a closet smoker since I was a teen, and not even my husband knew I smoke). So he calls me, tells me what happened, and with a strange-sounding tone in his voice. asked, "Did you know it was in there?" (Hell no, I didn't. Duh!). I just told him, "We'll talk about this later." (Whereupon I really needed a cigarette!). Long story short: we had a "moment of truth" discussion when I got home. He is shocked, and told me he had no idea that I was smoking. He's never smoked and hates the smell of it, so he really doesn't understand how addictive it is. Of course, he wants me to quit for my health's sake. I have tried and failed a number of times.

In some ways I am so relieved he discovered my secret. I hated deceiving him, but I never was able to confess it to him. I'm also very addicted to nicotine gum, which for years I've used to get me through the times when we were together for an extended period of time (weekends, vacations, etc.). I still haven't gotten up the nerve to smoke in front of him. Being honest with him about this was sooooo hard.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SmallTown_Momma
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:55 AM

im not too sure what to say ....

im glad that the truth finally came out , however ..i think it was wrong of you to deceive him like that , you took a choice away from him that he didn't even know he had ...which was whether or not he wanted to be with a smoker.

honestly, if i were him ...it would be a huge trust issue with me after that.

hoping it works out for you.

(i should also put in here that i smoked for 18 yrs of my life , and i have been smoke free for 6 1/2 months now...i get how hard it is, i am by no means saying that it isn't a hard habit to kick. )

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:58 AM
He never smelled smoke in your hair or clothes??
EarlGrayHot
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:59 AM

You should not be lying to your hubby and you need to try to quit again.  There really is no excuse for damaging your health like that when you KNOW it's dangerous and could be deadly.  Addictions are ugly things but you can overcome them.  There are meds to take and you owe it to yourself and your husband to try AND succeed.

BeAuTiFuL.BLiSs
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:00 AM

So, are you going to try quitting?

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:01 AM

 How did you hide smoking? It smells.

ragdoll7777
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:01 AM

how would you hide the smell?

ame85
by Chemistry cat on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:03 AM
Now you have the opportunity to rely on him for support in quitting! And you can look forward to not getting throat cancer and having a hole in your throat.
rachellaree20
by Rachel on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:04 AM

You should try to quit now.  It's hard (I smoked for 10 years and have been smoke-free for almost 2 years) but will be a lot easier with his support now that he knows.  It's not good to decieve your husband, however I understand that with addictions, deception of those we love is common because we don't want to hurt them.  Now it's up to you to figure out what you want to do and how you want to deal with it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:06 AM
Apparently not, which surprised me. I thought he must have suspected, but he said no.

Quoting Anonymous: He never smelled smoke in your hair or clothes??
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:07 AM
This is the ONLY thing that I have ever deceived him about.

Quoting SmallTown_Momma:

im not too sure what to say ....

im glad that the truth finally came out , however ..i think it was wrong of you to deceive him like that , you took a choice away from him that he didn't even know he had ...which was whether or not he wanted to be with a smoker.

honestly, if i were him ...it would be a huge trust issue with me after that.

hoping it works out for you.

(i should also put in here that i smoked for 18 yrs of my life , and i have been smoke free for 6 1/2 months now...i get how hard it is, i am by no means saying that it isn't a hard habit to kick. )

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