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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Supervised visitation at MY house?!

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:14 PM
  • 41 Replies

My daughter wanted my ex-son-in-law to have supervised visitation, and went through court to get it. I went with her to the hearing today, and we were sitting on the bench outside the room, waiting to get called in. She asks me, "Mom, if the judge approves, can we use your house as an okay place for supervised visitation?" Ummm... no!

Their judge put in the divorce that visitation exchange was supposed to be at my house, which made sense because my daughter was living with me when they divorced. That was in 2005, and all the visitation exchanges have been at my house since then! Even after she moved out, because my ex-son-in-law said, "The court order says..." My daughter even tried to go through court to change it, and her lawyer told me that my ex-son-in-law told the judge he worried that my granddaughter would be harmed by not having the regular contact that came with seeing me at exchanges, seeing as she had lived with me. I can't believe her judge decided to court order a third party to comply with his whims.

That's why I go to court now. I would love to not be in the middle! I think he is an asshole! Who invites an asshole to her house that often?

I know for a fact he's not good for my blood pressure. I was getting my blood pressure taken once, and I started talking about my granddaughter's dad, and was told that I needed to talk about something else, because my blood pressure skyrocketed when I was talking about him.

by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:16 PM
5 moms liked this

You need to love your granddaughter more than you hate her dad. You're not doing her any favors by calling her dad an asshole.

magic4marigold
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:17 PM

I obviously do a good job in hiding it, or else my daughter wouldn't be so clueless as to think I'd go for the idea of having him come hang out at my house throughout the week and weekend.

Quoting Anonymous:

You need to love your granddaughter more than you hate her dad. You're not doing her any favors by calling her dad an asshole.


Lanternshill
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:19 PM

It's not that easy to get supervised visitation. It was probably a fool's errand on her part. Has he been regularly doing visitation since 2005? That's almost ten years.

magic4marigold
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:22 PM

She got the visitation supervised. The judge said she would suspend it. My daughter's lawyer asked what she meant by suspend, and the judge said that my ex-son-in-law could always file to modify it to unsupervised in the future, and it would be changed if she became convinced it should be changed.

Quoting Lanternshill:

It's not that easy to get supervised visitation. It was probably a fool's errand on her part. Has he been regularly doing visitation since 2005? That's almost ten years.


BluesPagan2.0
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't blame you.  I wouldn't want to be in the middle either.  Can you tell the court this isn't good for your well being/health?  

dawnrothbaum
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:39 PM

I'm curious, are you at home during his visits? Are you the one supervising? If you're unhappy, why not tell your daughter and her ex to find another place?

magic4marigold
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:40 PM

I was going to say something if the judge didn't at least change the exchanges so they weren't at my house any more. But the judge didn't even need to talk to me. She approved supervised visitation, and I don't know where the visitation will be, but no one offered up my house as a possibility.

Quoting BluesPagan2.0:

I don't blame you.  I wouldn't want to be in the middle either.  Can you tell the court this isn't good for your well being/health?  


magic4marigold
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:44 PM

I'm mostly been home for their exchanges. I didn't want to make it hard on my daughter, but I like having my time to myself, so for the last couple years, I've just made sure to be home when he drops off my granddaughter, and then I drive my granddaughter home. There have been times I forgot, and my daughter got upset, because she's the one who gets in trouble if I forget, and she says she would have just gone to my house if she'd known I wasn't going to be there. Those especially are times I've disliked being in the middle.

They're not going to be at my house for visitation anymore. It's going to be supervised, but not at my house.

Quoting dawnrothbaum:

I'm curious, are you at home during his visits? Are you the one supervising? If you're unhappy, why not tell your daughter and her ex to find another place?


Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Ask for a neutral exchange. Our state prefers it to private house exchanges.
Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:48 PM
Oh wait it's supervised. Sorry.

You may just have to suck it up. Better than paying for supervision.


Quoting Momniscient: Ask for a neutral exchange. Our state prefers it to private house exchanges.
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