Different kind of Incest, Very deep confession. Please don't judge.
Yes I said it, Incest. I'm not a product of incest, but I do have a confession that I think everyone should be aware of. I don't think many of you are familiar with the term Genetic Sexual Attraction or GSA. GSA occurs when family members (siblings, half- siblings, parent/child, 1st cousins, etc) meet in adulthood. My therapist recommended that in order to become self aware with the term I should share my story. So here is my story:
My father was 25 years older than my mother. He was abusive and alcoholic towards my mother so the relationship didn't last very long. I grew up with my full blooded brother, and met two of my paternal half-brothers. Growing up I always heard of my oldest sibling but never met him until about 7 years ago. Once I was 17 years old, I set out to find him, I searched the internet, relied on family members, father's ex-wives, any bit of information that could possibility lead to him. Then one day, I found a phone number in his mother's name and I called, left a message, and ended my phone call. The next week, I get a returned phone call and that was beginning of our relationship. Couple of months past and I flew down to Florida to meet him. Even though I knew in my brain that he was my half-brother, my attraction to him was undeniably sexual. It was like nothing like I felt before. I know teenage hormones and such played a role, but my attraction towards him was so strong. After a two weeks together, I didn't want to be his "sister", I wanted to be his girlfriend. I didn't act on my feelings towards him. I so returned back to North Carolina to finish out the school year. We kept in touch and planned me going to school down there. I moved down there to start college, the first thing we talked about, was our feelings. We dated for about two months, then I returned home due to my mother's passing. We kept in touch during all this through Facebook and such. I eventually married my husband whom I'm with now, I love him but not in a way like Theo. I knew in order for my marriage to work, I had to stay away from him physically. My husband knows that I had a relationship with Theo but doesn't know to what extent. For example, when I found out Theo got engage, I reacted like the jealous ex-girlfriend. Then when the engagement was called off, I was ecstatic, yes even though I'm married.