Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

UPDATE: How would you feel? Honest opinions please.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
DH has recently started a band (he is a talented musician, and has been in many bands).

Their new lead vocalist (a few months now) is a very attractive, single woman.

Last night, DH told me he is doing a guys night out next week to a sports game, with one guy from the band and another friend. Fine.

(note for those who are confused, this is NOT a band outing. Only one guy from the band plus a high school friend...


Today he tells me that the female vocalist in the band dropped hints about wanting to go, so they invited her. At which point she said..."only if it's okay with your wives." :/

So DH asked how I felt about it, and didn't like my answer. Please note: I did not tell him he could or could not go...I am not his mother.

How would you all feel about this?

I have been great about band practice, etc. But I think this crosses the line of politeness...both that she would invite herself out with three married men, and that they wouldn't just politely decline.

thoughts?

UPDATE
Apparently they uninvited her now (they had already bought her a ticket before actually talking to the wives). They invited a guy instead. DH is pissed, and keeps muttering "I hope HE isn't too feminine for you..."

The whole thing is fucking weird IMO. Clearly it's not a band outing, since the other guy isn't in the band.

And I just don't see why he cares so much. :/
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2014 at 9:19 PM
Replies (131-137):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:41 PM
No, one band mate (a friend for 20 years), and one regular friend.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

All the guys were in the band, right?

Quoting MedicMommy2:

Except for the fact that it was not a band thing....it was a guys night who happened to NOT be in the band thing.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Well you are not going to like my answer.  It was unfair to for your husband to retract the invitation.  The band needs to work together as a team.  And working well together means they'll be a better band.  It is really too bad that you wives are so insecure in your marriage that you cannot handle a woman going along to see a game.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:42 PM
She's not a wife. She's single. It would be weird to invite her out

Quoting twinmommy27: This! Make a wives outing with her. Kinda like an introduce and get to know everyone.

Quoting Amiehart62: It sounds like he has a crush:/


Become friends with her
twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:45 PM
Why? We had a wives night out and now we invite the flight attendants and office girls. One of the office girls set up this next outing...
You don't have to call it a wives night out. It can just be girls night out. That's what we changed it to. No need for a name really.

Quoting Anonymous: She's not a wife. She's single. It would be weird to invite her out

Quoting twinmommy27: This! Make a wives outing with her. Kinda like an introduce and get to know everyone.

Quoting Amiehart62: It sounds like he has a crush:/








Become friends with her
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:47 PM
Oh for pete's sake. Stop with the long winded arguments. It's hard enough to read replies on a smart phone without sifting through these.

Quoting Anonymous: You exaggerate bc I never even implied I knew everything as I know I do not. However, from your comment and comments after yes I can tell the insecurity. I never said I knew about your relationship (again you are showing your insecurity here) but all relationships can grow and become better.

Your comment said jealous so apparentky jealousy is an issue deep down or it would not have been said. I am sorry I have never been one to blame things on my pregnancies but that is me. Your issues have nothing to do with the scenario OP you couldn't even give her a clear opinion on HER scenario. Going off of what you just said makes it sound like if you weren't pregnant you wouldn't have an issue with him doing this in this scenario and that you would be jealous if he went out with guys. Totally different than the impression you first gave. Lol

Nope never thought I knew everything, as I said it is how you came across. If you can't handle that then again it shows insecurity.

Quoting N_maricle:

Look, if you feel the need to post anonymously, you obviously know that what you are saying crosses the line. You have no idea what my relationship with dh is, and if you knew us, you would know that we have a very healthy relationship, and jealousy isn't an issue we deal with. You would also know that I'm pregnant, and missing those fun nights out that dh and I often enjoyed before we had this unplanned pregnancy. Dh has many female friends and constantly has women call him phone at all hours of the day and night, because he's a business owner and it's part of his job. I have never felt a hint of fear or worry that he's cheating or doing anything sneaky. The jealousy in the senerio op asked about really comes more from the fact that I want to go out and have a great time with him, but can't because I'm stuck at home feeling miserable and sick from this pregnancy. 

Thanks for the unwarranted advice though. You obviously think you know everything based on three sentences.

Quoting Anonymous: The whole anon thing always makes me laugh. Id be anon no matter what bc you would have no clue who I am anyway lol.

Quoting N_maricle:

Alright, have a nice day and go psycho analyze someone who cares, anon.

Quoting Anonymous: Lol yes you did and I gave you mine, kind of how things work when you post opinions on the internet.

Lol you can give opinions but not receive. Again, it shows insecurity. You are able to grow and become less insecure which typically makes for a healthier person and healthier relationships. Conquering insecurities would help you and OP I am sure as it helps many.

Quoting N_maricle:

Op asked for honest opinions and I gave mine. Stay the fuck out of it.

Quoting Anonymous: Idc if you are insecure. If a counselor told you that you were being insecure would you say they were judging you? No didn't think so. You apparently have insecurities that is an observation not a judgement.

Quoting N_maricle:

Judge much, goodness.

Quoting Anonymous: Insecure much, goodness.

Quoting N_maricle:

To be honest I would not like it either. If my dh goes out I want to go with him. Him going out with another woman would make me feel jealous and pretty pissed off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 17 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:56 PM
So many excuses. Also, nobody is forcing you to read or reply.

Quoting Anonymous: Oh for pete's sake. Stop with the long winded arguments. It's hard enough to read replies on a smart phone without sifting through these.

Quoting Anonymous: You exaggerate bc I never even implied I knew everything as I know I do not. However, from your comment and comments after yes I can tell the insecurity. I never said I knew about your relationship (again you are showing your insecurity here) but all relationships can grow and become better.

Your comment said jealous so apparentky jealousy is an issue deep down or it would not have been said. I am sorry I have never been one to blame things on my pregnancies but that is me. Your issues have nothing to do with the scenario OP you couldn't even give her a clear opinion on HER scenario. Going off of what you just said makes it sound like if you weren't pregnant you wouldn't have an issue with him doing this in this scenario and that you would be jealous if he went out with guys. Totally different than the impression you first gave. Lol

Nope never thought I knew everything, as I said it is how you came across. If you can't handle that then again it shows insecurity.

Quoting N_maricle:

Look, if you feel the need to post anonymously, you obviously know that what you are saying crosses the line. You have no idea what my relationship with dh is, and if you knew us, you would know that we have a very healthy relationship, and jealousy isn't an issue we deal with. You would also know that I'm pregnant, and missing those fun nights out that dh and I often enjoyed before we had this unplanned pregnancy. Dh has many female friends and constantly has women call him phone at all hours of the day and night, because he's a business owner and it's part of his job. I have never felt a hint of fear or worry that he's cheating or doing anything sneaky. The jealousy in the senerio op asked about really comes more from the fact that I want to go out and have a great time with him, but can't because I'm stuck at home feeling miserable and sick from this pregnancy. 

Thanks for the unwarranted advice though. You obviously think you know everything based on three sentences.

Quoting Anonymous: The whole anon thing always makes me laugh. Id be anon no matter what bc you would have no clue who I am anyway lol.

Quoting N_maricle:

Alright, have a nice day and go psycho analyze someone who cares, anon.

Quoting Anonymous: Lol yes you did and I gave you mine, kind of how things work when you post opinions on the internet.

Lol you can give opinions but not receive. Again, it shows insecurity. You are able to grow and become less insecure which typically makes for a healthier person and healthier relationships. Conquering insecurities would help you and OP I am sure as it helps many.

Quoting N_maricle:

Op asked for honest opinions and I gave mine. Stay the fuck out of it.

Quoting Anonymous: Idc if you are insecure. If a counselor told you that you were being insecure would you say they were judging you? No didn't think so. You apparently have insecurities that is an observation not a judgement.

Quoting N_maricle:

Judge much, goodness.

Quoting Anonymous: Insecure much, goodness.

Quoting N_maricle:

To be honest I would not like it either. If my dh goes out I want to go with him. Him going out with another woman would make me feel jealous and pretty pissed off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:58 PM
...

It's my post. Of course I am reading the replies.

And I think this is the first time I've replied to you. :/

Quoting Anonymous: So many excuses. Also, nobody is forcing you to read or reply.

Quoting Anonymous: Oh for pete's sake. Stop with the long winded arguments. It's hard enough to read replies on a smart phone without sifting through these.

Quoting Anonymous: You exaggerate bc I never even implied I knew everything as I know I do not. However, from your comment and comments after yes I can tell the insecurity. I never said I knew about your relationship (again you are showing your insecurity here) but all relationships can grow and become better.

Your comment said jealous so apparentky jealousy is an issue deep down or it would not have been said. I am sorry I have never been one to blame things on my pregnancies but that is me. Your issues have nothing to do with the scenario OP you couldn't even give her a clear opinion on HER scenario. Going off of what you just said makes it sound like if you weren't pregnant you wouldn't have an issue with him doing this in this scenario and that you would be jealous if he went out with guys. Totally different than the impression you first gave. Lol

Nope never thought I knew everything, as I said it is how you came across. If you can't handle that then again it shows insecurity.

Quoting N_maricle:

Look, if you feel the need to post anonymously, you obviously know that what you are saying crosses the line. You have no idea what my relationship with dh is, and if you knew us, you would know that we have a very healthy relationship, and jealousy isn't an issue we deal with. You would also know that I'm pregnant, and missing those fun nights out that dh and I often enjoyed before we had this unplanned pregnancy. Dh has many female friends and constantly has women call him phone at all hours of the day and night, because he's a business owner and it's part of his job. I have never felt a hint of fear or worry that he's cheating or doing anything sneaky. The jealousy in the senerio op asked about really comes more from the fact that I want to go out and have a great time with him, but can't because I'm stuck at home feeling miserable and sick from this pregnancy. 

Thanks for the unwarranted advice though. You obviously think you know everything based on three sentences.

Quoting Anonymous: The whole anon thing always makes me laugh. Id be anon no matter what bc you would have no clue who I am anyway lol.

Quoting N_maricle:

Alright, have a nice day and go psycho analyze someone who cares, anon.

Quoting Anonymous: Lol yes you did and I gave you mine, kind of how things work when you post opinions on the internet.

Lol you can give opinions but not receive. Again, it shows insecurity. You are able to grow and become less insecure which typically makes for a healthier person and healthier relationships. Conquering insecurities would help you and OP I am sure as it helps many.

Quoting N_maricle:

Op asked for honest opinions and I gave mine. Stay the fuck out of it.

Quoting Anonymous: Idc if you are insecure. If a counselor told you that you were being insecure would you say they were judging you? No didn't think so. You apparently have insecurities that is an observation not a judgement.

Quoting N_maricle:

Judge much, goodness.

Quoting Anonymous: Insecure much, goodness.

Quoting N_maricle:

To be honest I would not like it either. If my dh goes out I want to go with him. Him going out with another woman would make me feel jealous and pretty pissed off.

apollothor
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:05 AM

As long as my husband wouldn't be alone with her, as there were other men going, then it should be ok. She should've invited and paid for a man of hers to go with her as her date, or wives could've gone and make it a couples day.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)