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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Having a wedding to please his mother - nice or a doormat?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
I recently got engaged. I would just as soon go to Toledo and get married at city hall, and df agrees. But when he told his mom, she expressed her desire to see him get married. Then his sisters chimed in that they want to be there too. So, our quickie city hall wedding is morphing into something bigger. Because I have trouble with boundaries, I honestly don't know. Is having an actual wedding to please his family the right thing to do, or us it letting them walk all over us?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:20 AM
It's tough because it's a special time but it's also your call. I wouldn't be so quick to leave the family out of it. You may not be close to your family but he seems to be. It may be important for him to include them. You don't have to have anything huge, maybe an intimate gathering. If the mom wants something big tell her she's going to have to help foot the bill!
Hubris_Huntsman
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:21 AM
3 moms liked this

Invite them to city hall to witness.  That's being considerate, not a doormat.

JenGo
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:21 AM

Your wedding should be your wedding. If having a large wedding makes you unhappy, then don't do it.
If it would make you happy to have a small family only wedding, then do it!

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:22 AM

Doormat...................IF that is NOT something you and DF want

BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:22 AM
It's your wedding, not hers. Invite them to witness like pp said.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:24 AM

It is your day and you need to do what you think is best for the both of you.  Don't have a big wedding to please his mommy.

usndolphin
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:30 AM

I would be devastated if I couldn't see my son get married. And it would not matter where it was I would go there.  It is a milestone I would love to see.  But I would not insist that it must be a big wedding or who would officiate it.  Do you not want anyone there at all?  Or are they not wanting to go to city hall to witness it?  IF all they want is to be there then can't they go too? 

MysticIceWater
by Saphyres mommy on Jul. 19, 2014 at 12:33 AM
Let me know the secret my mil seems to think she's naming any children dh and I have..... I've been so kind as to say I really don't like those names, but anything shy of shut your face hole (which I won't say) she won't get
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:10 AM
I'm afraid she doesn't think that's 'special' enough.

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman:

Invite them to city hall to witness.  That's being considerate, not a doormat.

Hubris_Huntsman
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:11 AM
Well thats not for her to decide.

Quoting Anonymous: I'm afraid she doesn't think that's 'special' enough.

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman:

Invite them to city hall to witness.  That's being considerate, not a doormat.

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