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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why would I reward him for bad behavior.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
My three year kid has never gotten in trouble until today. I've never really struggled with him he's had a few tantrums that were age appropriate but I just ignored them and he moved on.
Today I was heating oil up for dinner and now my son knows hot and knows to stay away but for some reason he wouldn't get away, dh removed him and then he went back up. (I'm in bed rest so I was pretty much helpless with this) he then started having a tantrum we ignored him but then he went up and hit me! Just randomly! He's never done this before and we don't hit in our home so I'm assuming he picked it up from a kid at preschool, I then said enough you don't hit and sent him to his room which then he yelled "I don't want you I want my room!" And I said good that's where your going anyway and then he spit in my face!! I was so livid!! I kinda still am hence the rant...

Well I was talking to mil on the phone and she asked if we went to the park because she knew I had it planned I wouldn't sat on the bench while dh ran around with him I'm 39 weeks so this baby can come anyday now so I wanted to get time out with ds well I told her no and why and she said well maybe he needs to go out and play and that's why he acted that way... Well I'm sorry but no excuses he knows he can ask to go out and play and dh would have gladly taken him. But he didn't he had a melt down because he wasn't allowed near boiling oil!
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SleuthMaria
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:04 AM
Sorry to hear your son had such bad behaviour. Can't believe your mother in law actually suggested taking him to the park after that behaviour! In your place I would have canceled the planned outing, as well. In my opinion, if kids are acting out like your son was, they do NOT get to go out to do fun things. Maybe the next time, they'll think twice before acting out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:05 AM

Completely agree with you and would have done the exact same thing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:09 AM
The only thing that sucked was that I really wanted Dairy Queen lol.

But I didn't get how I was wrong, he was bad why would I take him out if he acted so bad.

Quoting SleuthMaria: Sorry to hear your son had such bad behaviour. Can't believe your mother in law actually suggested taking him to the park after that behaviour! In your place I would have canceled the planned outing, as well. In my opinion, if kids are acting out like your son was, they do NOT get to go out to do fun things. Maybe the next time, they'll think twice before acting out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:23 AM

I think if you had've taken him out after that - he would have forgotten all about his behaviour beforehand. I probably would have given a warning first - but I know in the moment it doesn't always go like that.

SleuthMaria
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:24 AM
Id have sent my husband to get it after my son was in bed, in your place.

YOU weren't wrong. Kids NEED limits and consequences from their behaviour. Not going out is a consequence of acting out. I always tell my kids that taking them to the park, pool, etc is simply NOT an option if they aren't listening or behaving, I tell them that if they can't show me at home that they can and will listen to what I say & behave appropriately why should I think they'd do so when we are out somewhere? I remind them that rules exist for their safety & wellbeing & that I'm not out to needlessly ruin their fun. They are now ages 7, 10, & 13. They missed a few things they wanted to do when they were younger, but they learned. That's not to say they don't occassionally act out, test limits, fight, etc. When they do, there are consequences & they get upset about it, but have learned not to argue, although my 7 year old still often says "I hate you!" when mad. I just reply, "I'm sorry you feel that way" & go on about my business. He always comes and appologizes later when he calms down.


Quoting Anonymous: The only thing that sucked was that I really wanted Dairy Queen lol.

But I didn't get how I was wrong, he was bad why would I take him out if he acted so bad.

Quoting SleuthMaria: Sorry to hear your son had such bad behaviour. Can't believe your mother in law actually suggested taking him to the park after that behaviour! In your place I would have canceled the planned outing, as well. In my opinion, if kids are acting out like your son was, they do NOT get to go out to do fun things. Maybe the next time, they'll think twice before acting out.
WickedOpal
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:52 AM

I was thinking that maybe she thought he acted bad because he was feeling cooped up, but I guess I was wrong.  What would I know, I only have 3 kids and shit.  Maybe the baby is sucking away your understanding.  I know at the end, no one could say anything nice, no matter how hard they tried.  LOL

Loveavision
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:57 AM
This, but in a less bitchy and condescending manner.

Quoting WickedOpal:

I was thinking that maybe she thought he acted bad because he was feeling cooped up, but I guess I was wrong.  What would I know, I only have 3 kids and shit.  Maybe the baby is sucking away your understanding.  I know at the end, no one could say anything nice, no matter how hard they tried.  LOL

WickedOpal
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 6:05 AM

That was sarcasm, but since they haven't deigned to give me a sarcastic font yet, I have to go by the obvious outlandishness of the wording.  Sometimes, it does not work as well as others.  LOL

Quoting Loveavision: This, but in a less bitchy and condescending manner.
Quoting WickedOpal:

I was thinking that maybe she thought he acted bad because he was feeling cooped up, but I guess I was wrong.  What would I know, I only have 3 kids and shit.  Maybe the baby is sucking away your understanding.  I know at the end, no one could say anything nice, no matter how hard they tried.  LOL


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 6:11 AM

Should have whooped that ass. 

Chirinos
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 6:13 AM
I agree with you completely I don't reward bad behavior. My boys have been wanting to go to the pool but they won't stop fighting so no pool.
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