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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is DH and HER alittle to friendly? long but need help..

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Dh has this female friend that he has been friends with for maybe going on two and a half years  now.. his friendship with her began when he was at the end of his previous relationship .. (yes to get it out of the way DH and i have been together for a year and a half and married now, 9 months. weve known eachother since 5th grade) anywho.. their friendship has me alittle suspect.. and normallyi am NOT the jealous or insecure type, i completley trust my dh and i know he loves me dearly. BUT.. this friendship of theirs has me feeling uneasy..

DH and this friend sometimes go on "ice cream dates" they have a particular ice cream parlor they always go to and sometimes he will pay the bill sometimes she will.. DH said its just innocent and they catch up talk etc.. and they part ways.. this female he claims has a boyfriend.. 

well at first i was ok with it after all i have male friends (they are ALL GAY btw she is not) ..after about a few months or so i started to feel uneasy about the idea that dh is in public eating ice cream with another woman.. it just doesnt look right .. and i cant see myself doing that with a straight man other than DH.. 

this friend and him ALSO attend the same church (i do not go this church .. we are two different religions) so i dont even know whether or not they interact there.. im sure though that they do.. 

when i brought my concerns up to DH about her he has me look at his phone and tells me to scroll through the messages to prove its always innocent , about me or us or her and her bf.. well i scroll to the VERY beginning from about a year ago and  DH had sent her a pic message of him blowing a kiss.. he tried to explain to me it was an inside type of joke where they were making fun of ppl who do the kisses (duck face) selfies.. i move past that but still tell him i think they need to tone their friendship down some.. 

well DH claims to me they hardly speak now... but today i go through our phone bill to schedule a payment and i decide to snoop (yeah yeah its wrong but who cares hes my husband and i have the right) i see DH and her have been texting ALL day yesterday up till midnight. DH is out of town on business he stopped responding to me by 11pm lastnight and the whole time i thought he fell asleep.

also today i see that he has been texting her for the last 3 hours.. i even seen times where there were days he and her messaged eachother but the logs of it werent in his phone.. he deleted them.

she knows of me.. she knows hes married.. she wasnt at our wedding and i have never met her.. i ahvent seen any pictures of her and her "bf" .. is this something to be worried about?

1. am i wrong for thinking they text to late and its disrespectful to me for them to be talking till midnight.

2. am i being a bitch because i dont want them going on public dates together at ice cream parlors?

3. why is dh deleting messages and lying about speaking to her if its all innocent? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:07 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:25 PM

im so relieved that im not overreacting and i have an acutal leg to stand on when i confront him.. im letting this play out tonight hell be home tomorrow im thinking on waiting till then to bring it all out.

Quoting JanineDeer:

No married person carries on like this with a friend of the opposite sex..heck not even with "buds" be they drinking buds, fishing buds, etc....

No its a very very very bad sign.  He's NOT committed to the marriage at all.  What he is doing is completely wrong.


5shadesofluv
by New Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:25 PM
Me personally I would invite her over for dinner with you and dh and watch the reaction you would get and if they go through with it pay attention to how they act around each other because that would explain alot.

I wouldnt make it seem suspicious though, just say since they are really good friends you want to have an official meet and greet....

btw, knowing the detective in me though I would keep digging till I have concrete proof because all they are going to do is deny it anyways without hard evidence smh
evelynolivesmom
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:26 PM

Yeah, no matter how you look at it, it's not right. Are you going to ask him again?

Quoting Anonymous:

RIGHT! i mean think about it if you walked passed a male and female eating ice cream together outside immediatley what comes to mind? a couple.. bf and gf or something! i dont like it one bit.. 

Quoting evelynolivesmom:

It sounds like they are dating, I mean, they are going on dates.



Tgant731
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:26 PM

I would be worried. It all sounds way too suspicious for me. To me, lying is completely unacceptable. If it were completely innocent, why lie about it? Why not just introduce you guys so you could see what kind of relationship they really have? Instead he chose to lie and be sneaky. 

MommyTo5Boys
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

If you have been together a year and a half and have not met her yet, yeah there's something wrong! 

Women have intuition, if you feel it's wrong then it most likely is! Trust your gut. 

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littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:28 PM

He turned it around on you =/

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Shockerchik: If he has to delete messages because you may take it the wrong way or whatever excuse he gives you...yes you should be worried.

thats what he SAID!  i asked him why did he delete the messages if they are all inncoent and then he says "well i know youre not that comfortable with me and her being friends and i wanted to avoid an argument which is what were having now"


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:30 PM

just looked and NONE not one picture of her and another man.. a bunch of fam pics and pics of her and her girlfriends.. and her relationship status is blank.

Quoting tisha826: Do it!! And update us
Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting tisha826: I could be innocent, but it's definitely very suspicious. No way in hell would I be ok with dh texting another woman all throughout the day, up until midnight! The deleting messages thing is crazy, he's hiding something. I would do some more detective work, because he more than likely will not come clean on his own.

thank you i appreciate your advice. im about to snoop on her FB and see if i find any proof or pictures of a boyfriend dh claims she has


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:30 PM

F$%@ ! SMH.. 

Quoting littlesippycup:

He turned it around on you =/

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Shockerchik: If he has to delete messages because you may take it the wrong way or whatever excuse he gives you...yes you should be worried.

thats what he SAID!  i asked him why did he delete the messages if they are all inncoent and then he says "well i know youre not that comfortable with me and her being friends and i wanted to avoid an argument which is what were having now"


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:30 PM
I would be worried
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:31 PM

you couldnt have said it any better .. :( cant beleive this 

Quoting Tgant731:

I would be worried. It all sounds way too suspicious for me. To me, lying is completely unacceptable. If it were completely innocent, why lie about it? Why not just introduce you guys so you could see what kind of relationship they really have? Instead he chose to lie and be sneaky. 


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