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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My new friend is very flirty with my husband WWYD?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I will try and explain this as best as I can so it doesn't get confusing. I met a woman at my playgroup and we got along really well. She is currently working at my husband's job (part time, 3 months) as a contractor so she is only there 2 hours a day. Anyway my husband is the manager so he has to deal with her.

Yesterday she came to my house and my H was home. He was going to run an errand and she asked him if she could go. That seemed a bit strange to me so we all went. The entire time we were out she flirted with my H. He was joking around with her too.

When we got home he went to work and she stayed for an hour or so. She told me "she doesn't understand how anyone could not get along with my H, he is so easy to get along with". She talked about him alot. She told me that when My H gave her some hay for her horses her husband asked her "what did she do to get that, roll around in the hay with him?" Which seemed like a weird thing to say to someone!.

This situation is really bothering me and I am so upset about it. I spoke to my H about her and get got upset with me and we had a big fight. WWYD?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 20, 2014 at 3:13 AM
Replies (31-40):
baby.cakes.xoxo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:05 PM

How did it end badly for her? I so want to hear the end of that story! And you were right that is definitely inappropriate for her to use your husband as her emotional support aka hero who is always so sweet to her and listens. I can imagine that's what she would have said to him.

Quoting leavinglasvegas:

I am friends with my boss. We chat all of the time. I also know his wife (she's lovely) and we all go out  to dinner together when we are in town. I always ask about his wife, his family, etc. We are FRIENDS - and we don't flirt. He gets along great with DH.

My DH works and travels with lots of women. He also gets occasional emails from wives or girlfriends of his coworkers and friends about job related stuff. His job can be stressful on families, so some of them are requests from women on how to cope with their men being away, etc. I trust my husband and know some of these women. EXCEPT one woman, a girlfriend of a friend of his - she wanted true emotional support from him. Sorry lady, he's MY emotional support. Lots of emails crying on his shoulder. This is the only woman ever that I said - she has to go. If he continued to talk to her, there would be huge problems (he didn't see it and thought he was just being a good friend).There's something there that was inappropriate and wrong. Then I finally met her in a large social setting - bingo! Bad mojo. That event ended badly for her with lots of people.

Long story short - trust your gut. Maybe your husband is oblivious. Maybe you've made some part of him feel guilty...whatever it is, if something about her is making you feel uncomfortable there's a reason, and it isn't insecurity. Just because someone is the opposite gender doesn't mean it's wrong, until there is a little voice inside you that's waving a red flag.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:06 PM
Fake friend is what she sounds like.
bcauseimthemom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:11 PM

I would have shut her down when she was telling me about the comments.  I would have told her he is married and she is crossing a line.  I would also mention in the future that she is no longer welcome to go on errands with you and your husband. She is just an employee and was a friend but obviously her intentions are not innocent.  Once I did this, I would have then gone to my husband. If he didn't respect what I had to say and what I had done, I would have told him he was more than welcome to go and hang out with his "work buddy".

leavinglasvegas
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this

It seems she had been cozying up to lots of men (her boyfriend wasn't there) and was VERY handsy with any man she was in grabbing distance of. When I'm standing at the other sit of the room and she starts putting her arms around my DH, no good. And when he turned on her and screamed at her to get her &^%( hands off of him and what was her problem and.....

She was pulling the same stuff with other men (she was a part psycho, part town pump). Just insanely needy and didn't care how she got attention. Her goal was to 'get all the men'. She ended up being yelled at, ignored, asked to leave multiple gatherings (at top volume in front of hundreds of people) and completely ostrasized by everyone that her boyfriend ever knew. (Her boyfriend, DHs friend, had passed away. Her activities started long before that.)

ETA - 'he's always so sweet and listens' is EXACTLY what she said in every email!!!!!!!

Quoting baby.cakes.xoxo:

How did it end badly for her? I so want to hear the end of that story! And you were right that is definitely inappropriate for her to use your husband as her emotional support aka hero who is always so sweet to her and listens. I can imagine that's what she would have said to him.

Quoting leavinglasvegas:

I am friends with my boss. We chat all of the time. I also know his wife (she's lovely) and we all go out  to dinner together when we are in town. I always ask about his wife, his family, etc. We are FRIENDS - and we don't flirt. He gets along great with DH.

My DH works and travels with lots of women. He also gets occasional emails from wives or girlfriends of his coworkers and friends about job related stuff. His job can be stressful on families, so some of them are requests from women on how to cope with their men being away, etc. I trust my husband and know some of these women. EXCEPT one woman, a girlfriend of a friend of his - she wanted true emotional support from him. Sorry lady, he's MY emotional support. Lots of emails crying on his shoulder. This is the only woman ever that I said - she has to go. If he continued to talk to her, there would be huge problems (he didn't see it and thought he was just being a good friend).There's something there that was inappropriate and wrong. Then I finally met her in a large social setting - bingo! Bad mojo. That event ended badly for her with lots of people.

Long story short - trust your gut. Maybe your husband is oblivious. Maybe you've made some part of him feel guilty...whatever it is, if something about her is making you feel uncomfortable there's a reason, and it isn't insecurity. Just because someone is the opposite gender doesn't mean it's wrong, until there is a little voice inside you that's waving a red flag.


metalmomma86
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:20 PM
Pretty much this..

Unless you went at your dh like a crazy woman, it shouldn't have ended in a fight unless he has something to hide.


Quoting uhhnogirl: First off, punch her in the vagina.


Secondly, I don't think he would be definsive if he wasn't flirting back.


Either confront her or fuck her husband.
baby.cakes.xoxo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:21 PM

Lol! There must be some sort of desperate slut handbook where they get their lines. Good! She needs to be told off like that and I'm glad she was rejected so publicly. Desperation and going after taken men shows what lack of character and self esteem she has. Complete trash. Your husband handled that so well too.

clapping

Quoting leavinglasvegas:

It seems she had been cozying up to lots of men (her boyfriend wasn't there) and was VERY handsy with any man she was in grabbing distance of. When I'm standing at the other sit of the room and she starts putting her arms around my DH, no good. And when he turned on her and screamed at her to get her &^%( hands off of him and what was her problem and.....

She was pulling the same stuff with other men (she was a part psycho, part town pump). Just insanely needy and didn't care how she got attention. Her goal was to 'get all the men'. She ended up being yelled at, ignored, asked to leave multiple gatherings (at top volume in front of hundreds of people) and completely ostrasized by everyone that her boyfriend ever knew. (Her boyfriend, DHs friend, had passed away. Her activities started long before that.)

ETA - 'he's always so sweet and listens' is EXACTLY what she said in every email!!!!!!!

Quoting baby.cakes.xoxo:

How did it end badly for her? I so want to hear the end of that story! And you were right that is definitely inappropriate for her to use your husband as her emotional support aka hero who is always so sweet to her and listens. I can imagine that's what she would have said to him.

Quoting leavinglasvegas:

I am friends with my boss. We chat all of the time. I also know his wife (she's lovely) and we all go out  to dinner together when we are in town. I always ask about his wife, his family, etc. We are FRIENDS - and we don't flirt. He gets along great with DH.

My DH works and travels with lots of women. He also gets occasional emails from wives or girlfriends of his coworkers and friends about job related stuff. His job can be stressful on families, so some of them are requests from women on how to cope with their men being away, etc. I trust my husband and know some of these women. EXCEPT one woman, a girlfriend of a friend of his - she wanted true emotional support from him. Sorry lady, he's MY emotional support. Lots of emails crying on his shoulder. This is the only woman ever that I said - she has to go. If he continued to talk to her, there would be huge problems (he didn't see it and thought he was just being a good friend).There's something there that was inappropriate and wrong. Then I finally met her in a large social setting - bingo! Bad mojo. That event ended badly for her with lots of people.

Long story short - trust your gut. Maybe your husband is oblivious. Maybe you've made some part of him feel guilty...whatever it is, if something about her is making you feel uncomfortable there's a reason, and it isn't insecurity. Just because someone is the opposite gender doesn't mean it's wrong, until there is a little voice inside you that's waving a red flag.



PPCLC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:26 PM

She's new to the friendship and probably feels you both share a common ground--your husband as far as knowing him-- and is simply trying to make conversation and maybe saying some wrong things.

It sounds innocent enough as far as the "hay" comment, but you should let your husband know how you feel and ask him how HE would feel if the table was turned.

nikabear
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:26 PM
I love the second one!!!!

Quoting Sassy762:

LadyIQ
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:40 PM

Of course he is enjoying the attention and ego stroke, but she needs to back off. 

I wish I had known…

Dolcepsle
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 1:35 PM
Haha older drunk women are pervs. Glad he got the hint.

Quoting Texasladybug84: Exactly. I try to explain to hubby how lots of woman take his charm and niceness the wrong way. He's catching on now after couple woman asked for his number and when he was wearing his cowboy hat, two older ladies wanted to get laid by him. They were drunk and he held the door open for them. Think he got the hint.

Quoting Dolcepsle: My husband unintentionally flirts. He is clueless. He's just super friendly with everyone and some women are desperate for attention and feed on it. I point it out and he always says sorry and then tries to be more professional. Men, generally, don't grasp how women deprived of attention can read into anything.

Quoting Texasladybug84: Just tell her straight up maybe even with your dh right there. "Okay enough now"
My hubby at a Verizon store once was laughing and joking around with the lady who was trying to fix my phone. I felt like the odd one out. Afterwards I told hubby you know you were flirting bad with her? He had no idea! He's so clueless. He's professional with all strangers now lol!
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