Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you allow your husband to?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 97 Replies
2 moms liked this

I see lots of posts about wives allowing/not allowing their husbands to do things. And husbands that don't let or do let their wives do things.

Is this how your marriage works? I don't get it.

My husband is not my dad and I am not his mother. We don't give each other permission to do things. We are adults. When we started dating we discussed the boundaries we think a relationships should have and we were on the same page. We respect each other's decision making and each person gets to make choices. We make decisions together.

My marriage is far from perfect. But I really wonder if the high divorce rate in this country is partly because people think they get to set rules for their spouse. Adults just shouldn't be treated that way.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ZombieMeat37
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:47 AM

Yeah, no.....I didn't' marry my father and I am an adult. I don't need anyone telling me what I can and cannot do, and I would never insult my husband by treating him like a child.

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:48 AM

I agree competely.  NO ONE is going to tell me what to do - I'm an adult.

Same with my husband.  I wouldn't DREAM of telling him what to do or "denying him permission" to do something.  I may tell him (as he would me) that something he is planning is a stupid ass idea, but to forbid it?  No.

disneymom2two
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:49 AM

I believe the way you do.  We discuss things and there are normal boundaries (i.e. no cheating) but in terms of allowing me to do things or my allowing him to do things - no.  We are in a partner relationship, not a superior/inferior so "allowing" has no place in it.

TaylorBaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:49 AM
2 moms liked this

my stbx got really controlling the last few years of our marriage. i didn't realize it until we split. now, i'm so happy that i dont' have to deal with that shit anymore. he will still try and do it and i just tell him to go fuck himself.

lovemercygrace
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:49 AM
No, I am not his mother and he is not my father, we do not allow or disallow each other to anything. We do respect each others wishes.
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Uh, we dont "allow" anything, we are both adults

If my dh told me I wasnt allowed to do something, he knows that I view it as a challenge accepted!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:50 AM
We don't allow or not allow each other to do things. We definitely have boundaries and are respectful of each other.
CadillacCutie
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:50 AM
No rules, no commands, our relationship is far from perfect also. But it revolves around trust. Therefore we don't have to talk about or set boundaries and rules. We trust each other and get along great because of it :) couldn't be happier and I agree with your post %100
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:50 AM
We don't "allow" anything in this marriage.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:51 AM
2 moms liked this
We have an agreement that if one of us is uncomfortable with something we just don't do it. It's a respect thing, not a parenting thing.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)