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Dear Spoiling Grandmas

Posted by Anonymous
  • 54 Replies

Who do you REALLY think pays the price when you teach the children their parents and discipline don't matter?

There is a BIG difference between spoiling a kid by giving them treats, taking them fun places, staying up a bit past bedtime, and showering them with love...Versus telling them they don't have to do chores and never should, your Mom's crazy for not letting you do whatever you want whenever you want, if Mommy tries to enforce rules you call me, OK?   

I let my 6 year old DS stay with his Grandma (DH's Mom) for a month this summer because I felt he was old enough and I know it's been hard on her since her Dad died.  DS is her first grandchild and has been the light of her life since before he was born.

What I got back is a hell spawn and I can't see anything of the sweet boy I let leave left in his eyes.  He's got the attitude of a 16 year old.  He decided to fill my dishwasher with the wrong soap because I asked him to load (pre-rinsed and sorted) dishes into the dishwasher while I folded laundry in the room right next to him.  (Even though I was right there, I didn't see the soap incident until it was too late.)  I didn't even ask him to turn it on, just load for me while I   He's deliberately breaking things because he's "mad at me and misses Grandma."  He says things like "I wish little brother was never born so I could be spoiled" and is overall just a cruel, mean, awful child.

Tough luck, boy.  He now has NO toys because he wouldn't clean them up.  He has 2 outfits, both plain shirts and denim shorts, because he refused to clean his room.  And no, I absolutely will NOT let him call his Grandma right now.  He has to earn back privelleges one by one, and calling Grandma is going to have to wait until DH and I have a serious talk with her to assess this and see if she will help bring him back around or thwart our efforts.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:40 PM
hes 6.
by kid crack dealer on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:42 PM
I'm so glad my mom wasn't that kind of grandmom when my kids were growing up & I know my kids appreciate that I'm not either. They probably actually have more rules at my house than at home. Lol
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:45 PM

How far does she live?

by Emmy on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this
You let him stay with a doting grandma for a month. Why are you surprised that he is having a hard time adjusting to the daily grind?
by Not-a-felony on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:46 PM
Grandma needs to get onboard or miss the boat entirely. Dh needs to be the one to talk to her/that is his Mom and she will just resent you. I would only allow limited visitation till things changed for the better. Good luck!
by Emerald Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM
That's not spoiling. That's overstepping. My mother tried that with Ds, and she no longer sees him or I. Granted her overstepping was just the tip of the iceberg.
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM
Ok well we should just let it all slide because hes 6! Yea right, hes at the age now that the learned behavior will most certainly grow with him. I agree with his mom and would do the same to minein this situation. Hes a sponge at this age and will absorb everything! Good job mama hold your ground on this one! Good Luck

Quoting my.sonshine: hes 6.
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM
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And, if that's what she said and did, then she didn't spoil him.  She completely undermined your authority.  

by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM
I'm glad I don't have that issue.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM

And at what age IS it appropriate to punish a kid for knowingly breaking the rules and disrespecting their parents?

I get acting out a little bit.  But everything he's done he screams that Grandma doesn't make him XYZ.  It's OK to throw a bottle of shampoo at Mom because Grandma wouldn't remind him to hang his towel.

I'm not out spanking him every time he forgets a chore.  But when I tell him to do something he's been expected to do for over a year now, like take his plate to the kitchen, I don't expect that plate to come flying at my head.

Quoting my.sonshine: hes 6.

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