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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

please no bashing. I just need support. update #3

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 142 Replies
1 mom liked this
I am driving myself insane. I had a one night stand and later found out the man is married. I got pregnant. Soon after I met someone, and we ended up getting married. I told the man I was pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with the baby because he was married. My husband has raised our son as his own. He calls dh daddy. Well now out of no where the guy told his wife, and they took us to court for custody. The judge granted a dna test and we are waiting to see when we have to go do it. We know how the results will come back. I just dont understand how he can ask for full custody, or anything for that matter. My son is almost two and they never said anything before now. I dont want my baby torn from everything he knows. Do I have the right to be upset? I dont want to sound like a bad person, but I dont feel they need to be in his life at all, I mean, he hasnt cared the past two years, why now? If he cared why didnt he do this when he was born, or one of the multiple times my baby was close to death in the hospital (lo has weak immune system and is deathly sick a lot) at one point they told me to say my goodbyes because lo might not make it out of surgery. Why didn't they care then? His wife is so happy and bashes me all over facebook about how I slept with her husband and my time will come and all kinds of mean things. I didn't know he was married. She even put on there that she cant wait to get custody of my child. They want his name changed and everything. If my husband lied to woman and had affairs I sure as hell wouldn't stand by his side and want to child conceived in his affair.. I cant even afford a lawyer with all the hospital bills, so I have to fight it on my own. I cry all the time because I dont want my baby to go through this. Its not fair.how do I even know that if they get visitation that they wont treat my child like shit? What do I do? Its court ordered dna so I know I have to do that but how do I fight this custody thing? I refuse to let them see my baby!.

**update**
we got the subpoena today for the dna test. We have to go to a place two hours away to do it. And they only gave us a weeks notice.. I am so nervous. Even though there is nothing I can do to change this, and I know no matter what my husband will always be his daddy. Im so scared. I dont want my baby to be in the same room as those people to do this. I have noone to talk to about this and its tearing me up inside. I have been having nightmares about it. I lay in bed amd cry after my husbamd goes to sleep. When I try and talk to him about any of this he shuts down. Idk why.. idk what im supposed to do. I am at a loss at this point. I look at my baby and just want to hold him and never let go. It takes all I have not to cry when I play with him. I feel like I have ruined his life, I made such a huge mistake and now he has to pay for it. Its not fair...
***update#2***
we were supposed to go do the dna test last week and couldnt because lo was sick. Well now we have to go tomorrow. My husband has hardly talked to me all week. Has been crying a lot but when I try and comfort him he lashes out. They have now created facebook pages to bash us. Can I use that against them? I know its them but they are under anonymous names. They are saying things even about my son that they are trying to get custody of. Its a long story. But idk what to do. Please does anyone have advise on how to fight this. I have been getting consultations with lawyers. But cant in anyway afford one. They are driving my husband insane. And I feel like im going to have a nervous break down.
Sorry for this being so long. I have noone to talk to and just need to get this out before I have a nervous break down.

***update#3***
we got the dna results yesterday. Its official, He isnt my husband's. I was crushed. But my husband was very supportive and tried his best to help me. The other guy has already put it on fb (the minute we got the call about the results he did it) and he told my husbands father that he wants nothing to do with my son and isnt happy he is the dad. THEN WHY THE FUCK TAKE ME TO COURT??? He also stated this to a police officer he is friends with. I plan to use that against him as well as all the fb bullshit. I havent posted a single thing and its all they talk about is bashing me. They drive by my house non stop. I plan on filling a restraining order monday as well as going to file for full custody. But im not doing child support. I dont want his money and dont want him to have any ties to my son. I am bound and determined to win this.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom-to-2kids
by Emerald Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I know you are worried, but the courts won't take your child. He might get visitation, but not custody.
dana63
by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:10 AM
10 moms liked this

 One thing you need to do is have your peas in a pod and let the courts know that you told the BIO father and he walked away. YOu told him many times about the baby and his health and still he walked away. You got married started a life and now this man wants to be "daddy" after two years.

I am not sure about the custody laws in your state but here they will not just hand the child over to the BIO father without reason. If you provide a good home and give the child his needs then you have no worries. Good luck~

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:12 AM
I figured as much. But im scared of him even getting visitation. What if they are mean, or treat him badly when they see him. He isn't old enough to tell me, and he has a developmental delay. He wont understand.

Quoting Mom-to-2kids: I know you are worried, but the courts won't take your child. He might get visitation, but not custody.
csxt99
by Jennifer on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:12 AM
14 moms liked this

Make copies of all the FB postings and show them to the judge. If he calls, let the calls go to voicemail and keep them. Keep any texts that they may send you. While I doubt that he would be granted full custody, he will probably be granted visitation. Hopefully, the judge has enough common sense to make them supervised visits since this man and his wife are strangers to this child. Also, I hope the judge is smart enough to keep the wife away from any supervised visits at first, and work her into the schedule later on. Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:12 AM

They will get visitation but they won't get primary custody after he has been with you safe and sound over the past two years.  Some states wouldn't even have granted the DNA test being that you are married and he has claimed your son as his own.  I would get an attorney immediately. 

TxCowGirl07
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:13 AM

Get a good lawyer, let him sort it all out.  Good Luck!

smalltownteddy
by Fletcher on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:14 AM
3 moms liked this
Screen cap all her threats, save all correspondence. Explain plainly to the judge that he has been aware of the child's existence for years and has had no interest in having a relationship until this time. Say that you do not believe it is in the best interest of the child to be ripped from his home and forced to live with strangers. Call into question the motives behind the sudden desire for custody, and the safety of the child considering their threats to "take your child away".
And call legal aid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:15 AM
They weren't going to grant it. But then the judge said "well if your willing to testify, the I suppose we will do it" and made him get on the stand. So now we have to do it. And I cant afford an attorney due to all the hospital bills. We have called every lawyer around us and none is in our price range. We cant even afford the down payment for one.

Quoting Anonymous:

They will get visitation but they won't get primary custody after he has been with you safe and sound over the past two years.  Some states wouldn't even have granted the DNA test being that you are married and he has claimed your son as his own.  I would get an attorney immediately. 

gypsy30
by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with the other women...unless you are a horrible mom, and live in a cardboard box, no judge is going to take your son from you...but I would now take that bastard to court for child support and bleed him for every nickel you can...retroactive too...

iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:16 AM
2 words: screen shots. Capture all that stuff she puts on fb and save it for court. Very malicious.

It sounds like the case is really in your favor. I would even go for back child support, but Idk how that works. There is no way that they will just get full custody.

I agree with pp. He was informed about the pregnancy and the child and chose to walk away. He certainly Had His Chances. .
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