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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Throwing away a house down payment/fully paid wedding because you won't marry in a church??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 245 Replies
1 mom liked this
My sister in law is 26 and recently announced she's engaged. My husbands parents are wearily and as they did with us, they helped with a down payment and paid for a lot of our wedding. Their only request was that we get married in a Catholic Church/ceremony, as they are religious Catholics and raised the kids that way. My husband and I agreed, no problem, I wasn't even raised catholic either but it was a nice process and it liked the experience. It was a beautiful service and I couldn't have been happier with my wedding.

My SIL told them she's not getting married in a church. She's been the rebellious one since she was younger, she openly says she's agnostic to her parents if they ask, won't go to church ever, generally gets into religious/political debates with them when they bring topics up. My FIL said he's not paying for a wedding or down payment if she doesn't, and she said "that's fine, I don't need you manipulating me with your money anyway", which caused a big fight, and they're not speaking.

What do you think? Personally, I can't get over how stupid I think she's being passing up a fully paid for wedding and help with a down payment over something so petty.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
two4one
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:47 PM
38 moms liked this

Stupid for sticking with her principles? That's new.

mhaney03
by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:47 PM
3 moms liked this

No way in hell I'd get married in a Catholic ceremony, and I'm non-denominational Christian.

PPCLC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:48 PM
6 moms liked this

Parental manipulation at its finest.

I hope your only involvement in any of this, OP, is to vent/ask opinions here.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Of course it is, I'm not getting involved in a fight that has nothing to do with me. My DH and I have just privately said to each other we think she's being stupid.

Quoting PPCLC:

Parental manipulation at its finest.

I hope your only involvement in any of this, OP, is to vent/ask opinions here.

mommy211983
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:49 PM
3 moms liked this
I agree with your sister in law. I respect her not doing what her parents want to a free wedding and down payment. I would never get married in a church. I don't care what was paid for.
wiener
by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM
2 moms liked this
Im with your sister in law. Her principles are more important then money
BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM
I wouldn't want a Catholic ceremony. Those aren't my beliefs. I don't see what the problem is. She doesn't want what they do, she isn't demanding they pay for a different wedding.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM
3 moms liked this
That's not petty. That's a big deal. You have to follow the rules of whatever church, possibly get their views pushed on you. It's their day I think if she doesn't want a wedding in a church then she just doesn't. She clearly knows what she's passing up by not doing it.
LadyBugMom09
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't do it either. I wouldn't be rude about it, I would still invite them to the wedding, but I wouldn't do it either.
MommyHuman
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:51 PM
2 moms liked this

I am Christian, but if she isn't why would she want to marry in the church? He wedding should be about the couple, not the religion. This is an important issue to her.nyou may not agree with it, buts it's her choice. 

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