This last weekend we went to visit my mother for a joint birthday party. I turned 50 last week and my mother turned 70 yesterday. For the last couple of weeks before we left, I warned my youngest to be sure to watch her mouth (no swearing) and watch her temper, grandma won't tolerate any bad behavior. DD#2 is 19 by the way.
Well surprise, surprise, she didn't listen. Don't get me wrong, she did behave for most of the visit. However, on Sunday she decided to be a pill. We were all in the kitchen while my mom was cooking dinner. She was asking me for ideas and if the kids would eat this or that. DD#2 kept interrupting, even though we asked her not to and then ignored her. Mom got around to putting things in serving bowls and asked DD#2 to please put them on the table. Well since she had been ignored DD#2 decided to pull an attitude. She looked straight ahead and ignored my mother. Mom told her to lose the attitude or she could just go wait in our car and not eat. DD#2 told mom that since she wouldn't talk to her that she was ignoring mom. Mom told her to go outside until she could apologize. My mom doesn't take lip from kids and stays calm through everything. (she puts up with a lot from my younger brother and knows if you speak calmly that most people will reply in kind) DD#2 yelled 'FINE!', walked out and slammed the storm door (didn't break it). Mom called her back and made her stand there on the stoop and close the stormdoor quietly 100 times. She also let her know that as the head of the household what she says goes and that the behaivor DD#2 was displaying was unacceptable. When DD#2 was done she went and sat in our car.
Right before dinner, mom sent DH out to ask DD#2 if she was ready to apologize to her grandmother and myself, and if so than she could come in and eat. She said no and continues to sit in the car. (The weather was cool enough that this wasn't a problem.
Just about the time we finished eating, DD#2 decided to come in and apologize to both of us. (for those who worried she'd go hungry, no she did not. Mom offered her a meal which she ate)
Now some background.... I am the oldest of my mother's children. I was a very quiet child and like my dad I don't like conflict. As such I was a very well behaved child who rarely did anything to need discipline. My mother never had to raise her voice to me, simple say my full name and I knew I was in trouble. Any kind of conflict like what DD#2 did has a tendency to stress me to tears. Which in this instance happened and why my mother insisted DD#2 apologise to me as well. BTW I was the one doing the counting while my mother went to finish cooking dinner.
As to why I just 'let' my mother deal with DD#2. Well it was her house. She had been warned numerous times to behave, and decided to not listen. My mother did not touch her she mearly used a quiet voice and an unpleasant task that DD#2 will not want to repeat for quite sometime. She has also learned that you don't act disrespectfully to your grandmother.