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Dear Stepmom

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
7 moms liked this
Dear Stepmom,

Until you came along I always had hope my parents would one day get back together again. I wanted my family back and instead my dad started a new family with you. And now your kids live with my dad and I'm the "outsider".

I know that when I'm at your house I make you feel like an "outsider" because when I'm there everything is different for you. Please keep in mind, I too feel like an outsider. I'm just visiting here. I know that you feel this is you and dad's house and not mine. I don't feel comfortable here either. It would be nice if you made me feel like a part of your family. Maybe let me help decorate or give me an area that is "mine" that I can personalize and be comfortable in.

You may not realize it but it hurts me when you bad mouth my mom. It hurts me when she bad mouths you too. I feel caught in the middle. If I like you mom will get mad. If I don't dad will. So I'm sorry I lash out at you but I don't know how to handle all this stress. I'm only a kid. I do want to like you but I'm afraid, the last relationship dad had didn't work out and led me to this stressful situation.

My parents child support issues are not my fault. I can not control what my dad pays any more than I can control how my mom spends it. If I need new shoes it's not my fault that my mom didn't buy them. I'm not sure who's right but mom says dad doesn't pay enough and you say he pays too much. Either way, I have no control over it so please stop blaming me.

Please don't fight with my parents in front of me. I can't help but feel protective of the two people I'm closest to and it only makes me think you're the bad guy.

When I want to come for an extra visit or mom sends me for extra time please don't complain to me or in front of me about how it's inconvenient for you. I'm already uncomfortable as it is. And when you tell my dad I can't come it makes me feel like you don't like me.

When you treat your kids differently than me I do see it. Even when it works out in my favor it makes me feel even more like an outsider.

I know that this is tough for you but please remember, this is tough for me too and I am just a kid.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:53 AM
Very powerful!
FullMoonFever
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:56 AM

This is beautiful...absolutely beautiful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:57 AM
Aw www. Know what that's like.
lovetoteachec
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:58 AM
Interesting,
jenmay44me
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:58 AM
Truth.
R00k
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:01 AM
2 moms liked this
It's great. It should be more neutral and not putting the weight of all the blame on the stepmother, but as far as the message goes, there is nothing but truth there.
I guess I would be spinning my wheels if I reminded you that a lot of stepmoms end up trying to fight both parents' stupidity on behalf of the stepchild. Ah well. I still really liked the message.
grey7399
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:01 AM

awesome

momofcourse
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:05 AM
3 moms liked this

Dear Bio mom, 

I know you and dad don't like each other anymore and you especially don't like the fact he has moved on and found someone to be with that he loves.  Please don't bad mouth her and want me to hate her.  Every time I have fun with her I have to hide it from you because it makes you mad and you go off about how horrible either her or my dad is.  I feel caught in the middle.  Please don't tell her she is not allowed to take me places or spend time with me or do anything special with me because you are my mom, not her.  It makes her feel that she is not allowed to love me and I can tell she is holding back and it makes me feel like an outsider.  Please get along with her and my dad because you are all in my life and I love all of you. 

activitymode
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:07 AM
I'm really glad my kids father picked a decent woman to be with. It was a crapshoot but we all get along well. Her and I do anyway. Him and I not so much lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
R00k
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:08 AM
I like this one, too.
I think the stepmoms and stepkids are more alike in the situation than some BMs would like to admit...

Quoting momofcourse:

Dear Bio mom, 

I know you and dad don't like each other anymore and you especially don't like the fact he has moved on and found someone to be with that he loves.  Please don't bad mouth her and want me to hate her.  Every time I have fun with her I have to hide it from you because it makes you mad and you go off about how horrible either her or my dad is.  I feel caught in the middle.  Please don't tell her she is not allowed to take me places or spend time with me or do anything special with me because you are my mom, not her.  It makes her feel that she is not allowed to love me and I can tell she is holding back and it makes me feel like an outsider.  Please get along with her and my dad because you are all in my life and I love all of you. 

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