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"It is impossible to force [sex] on someone...

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:56 PM
  • 8 Replies

"...because the second you force it, it becomes something else."

I was reading an article on -of all things- a comedy site. The author had decided to take a turn and talk about rape on a serious note. Here is the article, if anyone is interested in reading it. I recommend it- it's a great point of view.

What I quoted is the author's own words, and it is one of the best summaries of an argument against the way many rapists talk about sex that I have ever heard in my life. He says "Sex is consensual. It impossible to force it on someone, because the second you force it, it becomes something else."

He links this article about a study by two men done in 2002. Here is a short summary from the article.



Quote:

Lisak & Miller at p. 74.

Their sample was 1882 college students, ranging in age from 18 to 71 with a median age of 26.5 — so somewhat older than a traditional college population. The group was also ethnically diverse. They asked this group four questions about rape and attempted rape. I’ll paraphrase:
1) Have you ever attempted unsuccessfully to have intercourse with an adult by force or threat of force?
2) Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone who did not want you to because they were too intoxicated to resist?
3) Have you ever had intercourse with someone by force or threat of force?
4) Have you ever had oral intercourse with someone by force or threat of force?

The questions were specifically worded to omit the word 'rape'. As a result, a shockingly large number of men (120) reported that they had, in fact, raped a woman. Of course, it stands to reason that many men would have recognized the phrasing 'by force or threat' to be the same thing as 'rape', which (to some extent) means they would not have admitted to it, even if they believed they had. Now, this doesn't mean that I believe that most of the men were lying. It means that more than likely, many were, and that many of them didn't regcognize what they had done as rape.

This is not to negate the male victims of sexual assault, as the rape of males is even more underreported and taken even less seriously than that of women. It's simply to bring to light the things that many people think about rape, even though they may not call it that.

What are some situations (many lines of work, for instance) where rape is handled in ignorant and ineffective ways? If you feel comfortable sharing, do you know of an instance where a rape was handled in an ignorant manner?

Did you go to either link? If so, what did you think?

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:56 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:00 PM
Um...any man who doesn't recognize one of those things as rape, is a delusional fucktard who is no man. That's all I got.
oryxx31
by Captain Cook on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:02 PM
Rape is a crime of violence in which sex is the weapon. I think I understand your point but I don't care for how this article is worded.
MamaRae85
by *you're on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:04 PM

Totally agree.

Quoting Anonymous: Um...any man who doesn't recognize one of those things as rape, is a delusional fucktard who is no man. That's all I got.


MamaRae85
by *you're on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:05 PM

Which article? And why?

Quoting oryxx31: Rape is a crime of violence in which sex is the weapon. I think I understand your point but I don't care for how this article is worded.


Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:08 PM
Exactly this.

Quoting Anonymous: Um...any man who doesn't recognize one of those things as rape, is a delusional fucktard who is no man. That's all I got.
oryxx31
by Captain Cook on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:09 PM
Sorry, I guess I meant the questions you quoted. I assume it was from an article or paper.
As far as the wording, I don't care for anything that glosses over the fact that lack of consent equals rape.


Quoting MamaRae85:

Which article? And why?

Quoting oryxx31: Rape is a crime of violence in which sex is the weapon. I think I understand your point but I don't care for how this article is worded.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:12 PM
I like to be raped by my husband then I guess. He threatens to force it all the time. It turns me on.
MamaRae85
by *you're on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:14 PM

That was the point. The writers weren't trying to gloss over it. They were trying to show how many men would admit to 'forcing' a woman,but not to 'raping' a woman. They were showing how the people who responded would actually admit to an atrocity as long as they didn't think it "sounded too bad". Of course, anyone who believes that forcing sex is different than rape is either delusional, mentally deficient, or incredibly ignorant.

Quoting oryxx31: Sorry, I guess I meant the questions you quoted. I assume it was from an article or paper. As far as the wording, I don't care for anything that glosses over the fact that lack of consent equals rape.
Quoting MamaRae85:

Which article? And why?

Quoting oryxx31: Rape is a crime of violence in which sex is the weapon. I think I understand your point but I don't care for how this article is worded.


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