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I Don't LOVE My Stepson

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 102 Replies
3 moms liked this
Since its blended family day I thought I would share my confession.

I do not love my stepson. I have known him since right before he turned 3. He is 10 now.

I treat him with respect, I take care of him, he even talks to me about things he doesn't feel comfortable talking to his parents about. But I don't feel the same way about him that I do dd.

The expectation that step parents are to immediately fall in love with and bend over backwards for their kids are what sets step parents up to fail. I had no say in how this kid was raised for a long time, I did not give birth to him. Love doesn't happen immediately!

Don't even start with you knew he had kids bullshit... I didn't marry my ss. I married his father.

I used to feel bad about it. But then I read stepmonster and spoke to my therapist and you know what? I don't feel bad anymore! We put ridiculous mother like expectations on step parents and make it seem like step kids have no control over their situation. The truth is they do. Often more than they should. Step mothers are taught that they have to love their step kids, that all their feelings and needs should go on the back burner. Nope! Not how it works in my house! These relationships have to develop naturally.

Anyway... That is my confession. Any other step moms who don't love (though you may still care deeply for them and their well being) their step kids?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:43 PM
Bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:43 PM
Bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:44 PM
Bump!
TheFairest
by Mother of Dragons on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:45 PM
So glad my husbands kids are mine. Drama.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:45 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow. How sad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I do love my sd. But I understand and don't think any less of any stepparent that feels like you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:47 PM
My SS is 32 now! He was 6 when we married. I was proud of him but he never lived with us fulltime and no I didn't love him like my own. He lives across the country now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this
It's not the same. Totally understand.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:48 PM
1 mom liked this
You explained that so well. I feel exactly the same. I met my ss at the same age you met yours, and he is now 10 also.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:48 PM
3 moms liked this
There is nothing sad about it. I care for him deeply but it is not the same.

Are you a step parent? If not there is no way you could even begin to understand.

Quoting vegaswife2011: Wow. How sad.
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